Generic Country Song #42

Keep in mind that this is an unfinished rough draft:

I just shot my dog on account of the rabies,
I've been under the weather all week,
My wife up and left me,
My kids say they hate me,
Man, what a hell of a week

Chorus:

And I'm so blue,
I can't see the sky,
I'm wonderin' why God, he hates me,
I'm thinkin''bout cryin',
I'm wonderin' 'bout dyin',
When did the world get so mean?




Generic Country Song #42 (Unfinished Rough Draft) by Brogan Zumwalt is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Star Trek - Captain's Orders

My Newest Video Edit:







Here are some more Star Trek parodies (ones that I didn't make):

Presidential Loose Yourself

The following video was created for my Senior Portfolio Presentation. You can find my Senior Portfolio in it's entirety in the post below this one.

My Senior Portfolio

This is a collection of video edits I did for my Senior Portfolio. Some of them you may have seen, others you have not. Enjoy!

P.S. I'll be releasing the last clip by itself soon.

Star Trek

Last night I was bored and was perusing the short plot synopses of Star Trek episodes on Wikipedia. I have recently been on a Star Trek binge and was trying to decide which episode to watch next. Looking at the synopses, I have to say, was hilarious. Hour long shows are complex and very difficult to describe in a single sentence. Star Trek episodes are no exception. Even the best sentence long descriptions of the episodes are often less informative then they are "theater of the absurd". Some of the synopses seem a bit over the top, even for Star Trek.
I'll give a few examples:

• "What Are Little Girls Made Of?"
  
  Nurse Chapel searches for her long lost fiancé, and uncovers his secret plan for galactic conquest.



• "Shore Leave"
  
  The crew of the Enterprise visits a bizarre planet, encountering the rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland", fighter planes and Samurai.



• "Spock's Brain"
  
  Captain Kirk pursues aliens who have stolen Spock's brain.



• "The Way to Eden"
  
  The Enterprise is hijacked by a criminal doctor and his loyal, hippie-like followers who are attempting to find paradise.

And here's a few from Star Trek: The Next Generation:

• "Darmok"
  
  Picard struggles to communicate with an alien Captain who speaks in metaphors, before an invisible beast kills them both.



• "Bloodlines"
  
  DaiMon Bok returns to exact revenge on Picard, by trying to kill the son Picard never knew he had.

Graduation

As my High School Graduation looms ever closer I often find myself looking for words of wisdom. How should I conduct myself in the years to come? How long should I spend smelling the proverbial roses? How can I best realize my dreams in the future? I think this graduation speech sums up all of the answers pretty well...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Do Not Pay Any Attention To This... I'm Just Doing This To Enter A Contest

But Seriously, It does look like a cool movie..

Revenge of the Funny Trailers!

Tom Hanks 007





Lite Brite, or Die Hard





X-Men-3:The Last Standing Ovation





Singin' In The Rain (Special Edition)

Classic Toons

If you're like me, you watched a lot of cartoons as a kid. Chances are some (in my case most) of the cartoons you watched featured Bugs Bunny. Maybe you pulled on your ears for hours on end in a futile attemp to actually become Bugs Bunny... No? It was just me then. Anyways, enjoy this collection of 9 of my favorite Bugs Bunny cartoons:


What's Opera, Doc? (aka "Kill The Wabbit")[1957]






Rabbit of Seville [1949]






Haredevil Hare (First Appearance of Marvin the Martian) [1948]






A Wild Hare (First Time Bugs Says, "What's Up, Doc?) [1940](Sorry About Bad Sound/Video Quality)






Duck! Rabbit! Duck! (It is a crime in 23 states if you have not seen this cartoon) [1953]






Water, Water Every Hare (This is one of my personal favorites) [1952]






Broom-Stick Bunny (Another Personal Favorite) [1956]






Hyde and Hare (Yet Another Personal Favorite) [1955]






Bully for Bugs (Still Another Personal Favorite) [1952]

Quiz Time!

24

64%

37%

146,475 People

90% Geek
90%




53%

1%How Addicted to Apple Are You?

I SCORED A 86%

368 WATTS Body Battery Calculator - Find Out How Much Electricity Your Body is Producing -

Your Body is Producing 368 Watts!
This is 47% MORE wattage than the average person

* You could light up 4 light bulbs
* You could power 92 iPods
* You could power 2 Xbox 360s
* 3 of you would be needed to keep a refrigerator running



2,381,820How Many Germs Live On Your Keyboard?

I Scored a 80%!

Why Shaggy is Badass and Velma is hot

Shaggy:







Velma:





You'll Never Look At The Simpsons The Same Way Again:





And by the way... 100th Post!


To Celebrate, Please Enjoy The Most Heart-Pounding Video Ever:

Wesites That Exist/Don't Exist

ilovepuppies.com - Taken (Owned By Dog Solutions)
ihatepuppies.com - Taken (Owned By AZ13.com)
ieatpuppies.com - Taken (Owned By John - Reid Conlin)
ieatpuppies.biz - Not Taken
madd.org - Taken (Owned By Mothers Against Drunk Driving)
fadd.org - Not Taken
nerds.com - Taken (Owned By Jason Keramidas)
bullies.com - Taken (Owned By Stefan Ullrich)
binge.com - Taken (Owned By Host Master)
purge.com - Taken (Owned By Florian Fink)
bingepurge.com - Taken (Owned By Cathi Shaw)
bingepurgebinge.com - Not Taken
iamnice.com - Taken (Owned By Praveen Kumar)
iammean.com - Taken (Owned By Jen Depew)
iamschizophrenic.com - Not Taken
papasgotabrandnewbag.com - Taken (Owned By Beverly C Johnson)
papashappywithhisoldbag.com - Not Taken
elvisisalive.com - Taken (Owned By Domains Sale)
elvisisdead.com - Taken (Owned By ?)
elviswenttohell.com - Not Taken
devilwentdowntogeorgia.com - Taken (Owned By Whois Privacy Protection Service inc.)
devilavoidedgeorgia.com - Not Taken

Vacation Time! Hooray!

I'll be gone for the next week in Vegas. Here's a video to entertain my adoring masses while I'm gone:



Scary Story:




Sumo Wrestling Dubbed Over With Anime Effects:

Incestual Undertones in Star Wars

My newest video edit; Enjoy!

Be Sure To Vote In The Poll To The Right of This Message

It's Awesome!

The Newly Remodeled Chuck E Cheese's Tries To Attract A New Demographic






Just Watch...







Quite Possibly The Funniest Video Ever

I recently acquired the vocals only version of Kanye West's Gold Digger. Shortly after that I acquired the instrumental only version of the same song. I decided the best use of these two files was to make it sound like a chipmunk was singing the song. This sounds simple when I write it down but actually took me a fair bit of time to get the vocal and instrumental track lined up just right:


Kanye West - Gold Digger (Chipmunk Version)

P.S.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

WARNING: cute

Police Man Don't Take No Sass

Click Here To See News Story To Find Out What Happened To The Cop


To Cleanse The Pallet: Music:

Moment of Silence

Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons and Dragons, is dead.



Gary Gygax
1938 - 2008

Even More Outrageous Rumors (Political Edition) (Draft)

• After complaints the Wikipedia entry for Hillary Clinton was changed from "A large rodent native to North America" to "A large rodent native to North America who is running for president".
  

Dan Rather Crazy

Notes: I made this using a neat little program called Crazy Talk that lets you edit still photos to make it appear as if they are talking. The first part is a computer generated voice, the last part is me screeching.

I'm also testing a custom youtube video player that will allow you to access all the videos I've uploaded to youtube:



PS
I apparently just accidently banned myself from youtube... (long story I literally banned myself) I will be in the process of re-uploading all my videos for the next few days

My Kind of Music

8-Bit music or "Chiptunes" is a style of music made using only old consoles such as the Game Boy or the NES. Here are a few videos of performances by some of my favorite 8-bit artists:


"Spontaneous Devotion" by Random





Bit Shifter





Nullsleep





"Switchblade Squadron" by Covox

Photoshop: Blue Screen of Death

Click On Thumbnail

Click On Thumbnail

More Utterly Outrageous Rumors

1. Being Lactose Intolerant is an offense punishable by death in Wisconsin.
2. Guitar Hero 4 will be a World War II FPS where you have to guide 80's rock stars to victory against the Nazis. Screenshot
3. The sequel to the Transformers movie will be titled "Transformers 2: Forbidden Love". The plot will be a Romeo and Juliet-esque one with Optimus Prime's son, Razorblade, falling in love with Megatron's daughter, Lucy.

"Mars Bigfoot" Turns Out To Be Leaked Still From Planet of the Apes 2

New Photoshop

Some Things To Notice:

Flavor
Look closely at description of what product does
Symbol replacing ADA approval sticker

Note: The reason the font may loom a bit off is because the only high quality picture of a Listerine bottle was entirely in a foreign language. I had to redo the text of the entire bottle in the closest font I could find (Arial Black)

Video of the Week (VotW) 1

BONUS VIDEO!!!


Warning: Contains Bad Word

New Photoshops

The first one is too big to fit so I'll give you a link:
Photoshop 1




Photoshop 2:

Utterly Outrageous Rumors

1. The reason Wal-Mart is able to keep its prices so low is because they use their elderly greeters as collateral when dealing with foreign investors.
2. Elvis and Bigfoot are married under common-law.
3. Hitler is alive and currently working as a circus clown under the name "Baron von Happy".
4. Contrary to popular belief, Michael Jackson is not a black male popstar, but a bloodthirsty alien killer from the planet Omnicron Persiei VIII whose gender depends on its mood.
5. The Space Shuttle Challenger never actually exploded as it took place during the 1985-86 season of Dallas which was only a dream.

Set Phasers To Kill Presents: Leia's Surprisingly Good Memory

I made this video mainly to address a major continuity error between the old (good) Star Wars Trilogy, and the new (not so good) Star Wars Trilogy. Basically in Return of the Jedi, Leia implies that her mother, Amidala, lived long enough for Leia to get to know her. The problem is that in Revenge of the Sith, Amidala clearly dies immediately after giving birth to Luke and Leia. So that makes Leia either insane, a liar, an insane liar, or just a young woman with a remarkable memory. With that, I give you: "Leia's Surprisingly Good Memory" Enjoy!

Don't EVER Judge A Book By It's Cool Cover Art

I recently read a book that purported on it's cover to be a detective story. Half-way through the book I realized that not only was this not a detective story but a romance novel, it was also a badly written romance novel. Here is my summary of the plot:

Woman: I'm looking for a detective
Detective: I'm a detective!
Woman: Okay
Detective: (Drinks a beer)
Woman: I don't like you!
Detective: I don't like you either. I'm gonna abuse you, then we're gonna have sex. Ok?
Woman: Ok.
Detective: (Slaps Woman)
Woman: Make love to me!
Detective: Ok.
(They have sex)
Woman: Now I like you.
(Man walks in)
Woman: Ahhhhhhh! He's after my baby!
Man: HAHAHA!
Detective: (Shoots Man)
Man: Damn you and your concealed firearms permit!
Detective: What baby?
Woman: You know, the one we left with the complete strangers we found on that Indian Reservation?
Detective: Oh, that baby.
(They have sex again)
Detective: You have melted my icy cold heart through multiple instances of intercourse. I love you.
Woman: I love you too.

THE END


Next time I get a book, I'm reading the back. There goes ten hours of my life that I'll never get back again...

Fake Trailer - Black Friday

Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving in the United States, where it is the beginning of the traditional Christmas shopping season. This often creates several traffic jams and people with tents waiting outside stores for them to open. Since the idea of actually going outside and shopping (as opposed to the quicker and more efficient online shopping) is frightening, Black Friday to me would be a horrifying experience. I decided to create a fake movie trailer about this.

NOTE: I actually am not quite finished with this video, I want to find clips of rioters to replace the actual clips of Black Friday Shoppers.

Credits:

Video Clip Sources:

Vermont Zombie Trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ltYV8fft68

Customers Fight Over PS3:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6fq1bvdLGI

Massive fights at PS3 Japan launch!:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEfamAuJR_8

Video Game Glitches - Rush 2

I remember how excited I was when I found this glitch (it's not often that I am the first to find a glitch). It really has no useful purpose just a cool way to get outside of the map.

Game - Rush 2
Console - N64
Level - Las Vegas
Difficulty - Very Easy

NOTE: It is possible to survive this and drive for a while underneath the map (I've done it before)

Photoshop: Snapple Caps

I was looking at Snapple bottle caps the other day (you know, the ones with facts on them) and thought how funny it would be to have completely inaccurate facts on them. I immediately set to work making photoshops of 4 caps. Enjoy!

Video - Captain Keyes

This is a video I made using the audio and video (I had to separate, then recombine them)from a cut-scene in Halo 1. I also used a program that edits still photos and makes them appear to speak. It contains a spoiler, so if for some reason you haven't played the game yet, be warned.

When John Simms made an appearance as the Master on Doctor Who, I knew what I had to do. Presenting: The Doctor Who/Life On Mars Mash-Up!

If you're an American (like myself) and (for some insane reason) don't watch British television, you probably won't get the joke... Theses links will help:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctor_Who

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_%28Doctor_Who%29

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_on_Mars_(TV_series)

Yes, This means that I'm not only a Star Wars geek and a Trekkie, I am also a Doctor Who nerd. I'm representin' the whole spectrum on geekdom.

Strife Inc. Videos: The Secret - They're Free

The first of many videos mocking the movie "The Secret" that purports to enable you to get anything you want by using the "Law of Attraction". Expect several of these videos as "The Secret" is an hour and a half long puddle of lies (I'm very proud of that metaphor).







The Second Video:

Presenting Strife Inc. Videos 5: Star Trek Silliness #3

Once Again, I'm Screwed

46%





But At Least I'm Family Friendly:

A TV Show I Like: Code Monkeys

Gotta love that 8-Bit Animation

Presenting Strife Inc. Videos 4: Star Trek Silliness #2

Two Words... Deathly Hallows

So... It's 2:11 am and I've just finished reading the last installment in the Harry Potter Series, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows". It's a very good read, in fact, it's the best book I've read in a long time. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I take nothing seriously. For those of you who don't know me personally, now you know... With that being said, here is my list of alternate endings to Harry Potter (don't worry, no spoilers here):

• 
  "Harry raised his wand and said in a booming voice, 'PRINT ERROR NUMBER 14: CHECK TONER"
  
  
  
  


• 
  "Voldemort leveled his wand at Harry and began, 'AVADA KE-' but was cut off by the bang from Harry's newly purchased handgun. Harry smiled and said, 'Lead beats wand, bitch!'"
  
  
  
  


• 
  "Harry bent over the lifeless body of Voldemort and exclaimed, 'After all this, it was the common cold that finally killed him!'"
  
  
  
  


• 
  "'... and then his body disappeared! Just like that!', Ron exclaimed. 'Which', added Harry, 'If I'm not mistaken, leaves the door wide open for a sequel!' 'You gits!', Hermione sighed, 'J.K. Rowling already said that this is the last book!' Ron and Harry looked crestfallen. Hermione rolled her eyes and said, 'I think you boys are forgetting about a little something called merchandising!'"
  
  
  
  


• 
  "Voldemort raised his wand, but Harry was faster. He leveled his wand at Voldemort and screamed with all his might, 'AVADA KEDAVARA!' It was over, Voldemort was finally dead. Harry was then promptly arrested and sentenced to life in Azkaban without the possibility of parole."
  

Here's a bonus video I found from the British television show "Mock The Week":

Presenting Strife Inc. Videos 3: Star Trek Silliness #1

Ridiculous Ads

Presenting Strife Inc. Videos 2: Doctor Who Advert

Don't Get Any Funny Ideas...

$5100.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 -

Presenting Strife Inc. Videos: Mythbusters Outtake #1

Presenting what is hopefully the first of many humorously (in my opinion) edited videos:

The Biggest Thing... EVER!

Huge News!!! One of my favorite shows, Robot Chicken, is being combined with one of my favorite movies, Star Wars. The result, Robot Chicken Wars, will be aired on June 17th. You can find an article that goes into more detail Here. In the meantime, enjoy the trailers for this very special episode of Robot Chicken (as well as a few other goodies). Enjoy!


Trailer #1

Trailer #2:

Bootleg Clip From Star Wars Celebration IV








And For Good Measure: Star Wars Outtakes and Bloopers:

Halo 3 Release Date Countdown

The Halo Videos: Several New Ones

Here are links to the videos I've made so far (I'll Upload Screenshots Later):




Long Range Grenade Kill




Killing Spree




Gameplay Footage Time




The Problem With Warthogs

The Halo Videos: Grenade Killah

The Halo Videos:

Episode 1: The Grenade Killah

Run Time: 00:00:31
Size: 2.95 MB
Format: .WMV


Click Picture To Play

Next Episode: Long Range Grenade Kill



Commentary: Behind The Scenes On How I Made The Video And What The Next Video Will Look Like

Are You Dizzy Yet?

NOTE: After Clicking Play, Wait For The Movie To Load

10 Things I've Noticed While Watching Scooby-Doo

1. Without her glasses, Velma goes completely and utterly insane (i.e. Location: Theme Park on Island - Description: Velma is driving a modified bumper car when she looses her glasses. She then makes comments on how wide the road is [she's driving in between tents], when she almost runs into the villain [a robot that's going haywire] she apologizes to the "police man who is directing traffic" [they have already found out that the only ones besides them on the island are the two caretakers, and the insane robot. Furthermore the only way to get to the island is by boat and there are no roads on the island]. When Velma finally manages to stop the car and get her glasses back, she denies having had any problems at all)
2. Shaggy's beard is either drawn on with a sharpie or it's some kind of skin condition because nobody has a beard so thin that only the outline is visible.
3. Here's something interesting: When watching any cartoon (especially the old ones, but I've seen some newer ones do this as well) look for an object on the screen (i.e. a lamp, an axe, etc) that seems slightly brighter/lighter colored than most of the rest of the scenery. More often than not, that object will be moved, picked up by a character, or change in some way or another. My theory is that it serves as a sort of "place-marker" for the animators to tell them that this object does so and so. Possibly that object was drawn on after the background was.
4. In the right light, Velma's kinda hot...
5. Shaggy, Scooby, Fred, Velma, and Daphne have really slow reaction times. I once counted five whole seconds before they even noticed the ghost that was four feet in front of them. Then again, it was the sixties, so they were probably high as kites the whole episode.
6. Where the heck are Fred and Daphne, you only see them for a few minutes per episode. I know that they said that they usually focused writing for the "funny ones" but still, you have to wonder why Fred enjoys splitting up so much, especially when he's the one paired with Daphne. (Question: Has Fred ever been paired with anybody but Daphne?) Shaggy is always upset when they have to split up, Daphne never seems to mind. I guess that makes her the "Yoko" of the group...
7. Speaking of Daphne, she seems to enjoy falling down trap doors that lead to basements and dungeons... Hmmmm... Kinky....
8. I swear, they are trying to get rid of that dog. Maybe it's just self-preservation though, I mean, if some insane ghost knight was chasing me with an axe, I'd send in the talking dog to check out the dark room too.
9. Fred needs to get a hobby or he's gonna snap. I mean a hobby besides catching bad guys. A healthy hobby that couldn't get anybody hurt, unlike his current hobby of building Rube Goldbergian traps that often involve Scooby-Doo getting injured.
   
10. They always run into jewel thieves or mischievous treasure hunters, but never mass murderers or crazy cult leaders. I know it's a kids show, but some variety would be nice. (The video below illustrates exactly what I mean):

They've Done It: So Bad It's Almost Good: Halo CE Maps: Burnside

Map Name: Burnside
Screenshots:

Screenshot Descriptions (Clockwise From Top Left):

Picture 1: It's like you're looking through the eyes of an insane man! I mean, come on, who else but the "mentally screwed up" would think to put those textures there?!? What the heck is that vaguely box-like thing floating in mid-air? You can't reach it, I've tried. Oh, did I mention that you can walk up walls and that the jet you can fly in has been replaced by a toaster? How about the fact that the tank and jeep have polka-dots?

Picture 2: You can't see it very clearly, but that is a badly textured "pod racer" from Star Wars. This is a Halo game. Although both Star Wars and Halo are in the same genre (Sci-fi) they do not mix at all... This is a travesty.

Picture 3: Yes, it's a giant skateboard... And it has some sort of invisible turret since it can fire bolts of plasma. Like all vehicles on this map, once you hop into the drivers seat, you are apparently injected with an entire keg of hard liqueur since you can't drive for sh** in these vehicles. In fact, if you dare to take a left or right turn at all, you are immediately thrown forcefully out of the vehicle and back flip dozens of times before you land on the ground and instantly die.

Picture 4: I had to kill myself (in the game) to get this one. For some reason the creator of the map thought it would be funny to dress poor Master Chief up in a prisoner outfit.

If you really feel that for some reason you need to have this map, here is the download link

NOTE: You need to have Halo CE installed for this to work

Installation Instructions Can Be Found Here

They've Done It: So Bad It's Almost Good: Halo CE Maps: Introduction

If you can't make head or tail of the title, here is a brief glossary:

Halo: A wildly popular first person shooter video game series (the one we'll be talking about is the first Halo game, specifically the PC version)

Halo CE: Stands for Halo Custom Edition, a free add-on to Halo for PC that allows you to play multi-player maps made by people using the Halo Development Kit.

Halo Development Kit: A tool for making custom Halo CE maps

Now that we've got that over with let me tell you the premise of this post.

There are hundreds if not thousands of Halo CE maps. Some are brilliantly made, others... well, they just can't cut it. But there are a select few Halo CE maps that are so bad that they are very nearly good. The next few posts will be about them. Enjoy!


NOTE: Remember, my opinion of which maps are good or bad may not be the same as yours. In fact, it could be drastically different. But it's my opinion so shove off... But if you agree, feel free to post a comment praising my brilliance.

New Blog

I've decided to create another blog. This in no way will affect this blog, but will serve to enhance it. The new blog will consist of my commentary on this blog (i.e. Where I got the idea for the post, my personal feelings on the finished post, etc.). Here is the address: http://www.strifecommentary.blogspot.com

Last Words

I was feeling a bit morbid today so I wrote this list of words I might want to say on my deathbed:

• Well... This totally screws up my plans for Saturday...
• It turns out that the light at the end of the tunnel is just a "Laser Floyd" show.
• Before I die, I'd like to let you know that, although I love you all very much, I'm going to make you fight to the death in a televised cage match in order to win my inheritance. It will be hosted by an Elvis impersonator handpicked by myself and my invisible pet monkey "Jubjub".
• Dance! Dance for my amusement!
• I want my remains donated to "Fear Factor".
• When I die... Leave my heart in San Fransisco.
• I want my remains frozen until they find a way to bring back the dead!
• Either you find a way to end world hunger within the hour, or I will set off a 1 megaton bomb I have hidden somewhere under the grounds of Shel Silverstein's birthplace...
• What? Wait, are you crying?!? Oh don't be such a baby! Look everybody! Will's crying! Let's all laugh at the little baby!
• Wait... I... I see a light! There's people here... (Gasp) Someone's walking towards me... It's ... It's Aunt Cassie! Wait... She... She has something... IT'S A GUN! SHE HAS A GUN!!!
• The only way you can make me proud now son is to learn to speak Russian fluently before I die... You have twenty minutes starting........... NOW!

The Presidents Song

I just found this old gem from the days when I used to watch the Animaniacs. It was a great little show and I plan on buying the DVD's of it soon. Meanwhile here is a song from the show:







Here are the lyrics if you are interested...

Crazy Infomercials

Here Are Some Of My Favorites:

"Dr. Ho's Muscle Massage System"

"Rejuvenique"

"Tony Little's Gazelle Freestyle"

"Myotron Pulse Wave"

"Santo Gold" (Possibly The Most Confusing Infomercial Ever)

Innapropriate Games (Part 1): The Farting Game

Farting Game

Use the spacebar to try and squeeze out as many farts as you can without the guy beside you noticing. You can use the left arrow key to pass ’silent’ farts at any time. If you don’t release enough gas and the large meter fills to the top, you’ll explode and the game will be over. If the other guy hears you, the game ends as well.

Note: Try To Beat My High Score Of 5690

Fun Animation Thingie...

I Made This With A Generator On http://roxik.com/pictaps/

It's A Very Simple Time Waster... Just Color The Guy In And It Animates Him For You.

They've Done It: Worlds Most Frightning Warning Sign

They've done it! The International Atomic Energy Agency in partnership with the UN has created what must surely be the most frightening warning sign ever. It's the new "International Radiation Symbol" and it's scary as hell.

Here's the old version:



... And here's the new one:


Not only does the new version have a skull and crossbones (that almost appears to be chasing you), but even though you are running away the beams of radiation are still hitting you!

"You can run from radiation, but you can't hide!"

(Note this is the first of many "They've Done It" posts. This series of posts will put into motion a series of events that will, eventually, doom all of humanity explore how the "establishment" (a.k.a. "the man") is making this world a much more frightening place.)

(Another note: By the establishment I mean any form of authority and not just a government)

Fun With Nixon

Here Are A Few Little Animations I Made That Makes History Fun!

Messin' With Nixon

(Note: Place Your Mouse Over Certain Hot Spots (i.e. His Eyes) To See Funny Stuff)


Nixon Morph (Flash Version)

Nixon Morph (GIF Version)

Strange Shows (Part 1)

You Can Find Some Pretty Strange Stuff On Late Night TV. Tonight I Found This Gem:

"Emergency Vets: Things Animals Swallow"

Remember, That Was The Actual Title... I'm Not Making This Up.

Michael Jacksons "Thriller"... Benny Hill Style

Michael Jacksons "Thriller" Set To The Benny Hill Music:








And War Of The Worlds....

Gifts Not To Buy This Christmas

Tickle Me Emo:







Nintendo Wii Games (Note: One Part May Be Inappropriate):








Descrimi-Nav (The Racist Navigation System):

Note Couldn't Find It On YouTube So Here's A Direct Link




"Dissing Your Dog":

Video Trailer Edits (Part 3)

There Are Only Four Trailers This Time But These Are Some Of The Best Ones:




Ten Things I Hate About Commandments (Parody of "The 10 Commandments")

Note: One Bit Of Innapropriate Languange At The End







Mel Gibson's Signs Of Anti-Semitism (Parody Of Signs):








West Side Story Trailer Redux (Parody Of Several Zombie Movies And The "West Side Story")







Martin Scorsese Sesame Streets (Parody Of "Sesame Street" And "Goodfellas" {I Think}):


Note: Foul Language Throughout... But This One's Just Too Good To Pass Up

Leeeeeeroooooy Jenkins!!!!

I Don't Play WoW But I Do Get The Humor In This Commercial Parodying The Now Famous "Leeroy Jenkins Incident". If You Haven't Seen The Original "Leeroy Jenkins" Video, You Can Watch It Here


Leeroy Jenkins Parody:








Here Are Some More "Leeroy Jenkins Live" Videos:



Office


Birthday Party



Oh Well... At Least He Has Chicken...

Video Trailer Edits (Part Two)!

This Is The Second Part Of The Video Trailer Edits Post... This Deals With Recutting Films Into Trailers To Make Them look Like A Different Genre:




The Lion King Recut To Be A Horror Movie:








Groundhog Day Made Into A Slasher Flick:








Bruce Almighty Made To Look Like An "End Of The World" Thriller:



You are going to have to click on the video twice to view on the actual Youtube page because embedding has been disabled.







The Shining Made To Look Like A Nice Family Film:








Willy Wonka Made Into A Horror Film:








That's All I Can Find For Now... But I'm Sure There Is Plenty More... Who Knows... Maybe I'll Make Part 3!

Video Trailer Edits!

Here Are Some Videos That Have Been Re-Cut To Look Like A Trailer For That Movie... In A Different Genre:



Here's One Of Mary Poppins Being A Horror Movie:







Here Is One Of The Movie Forest Gump With Forest As A Psychopathic Stalker:







Another Tom Hanks Movie ("Sleepless In Seattle") Recut As A Horror Movie:







This One Is My Personal Favorite, "Office Space" Recut As A Horror Movie:








E.T. Recut Into An Alien Invasion:








The "School Of Rock" Recut Into A Horror Movie:









I'll Be Posting Part 2 Sooner Than You Think... Stay Tuned...

New Halo 3 Trailer!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!!

As the title implies there is a new Halo 3 trailer. There are several details I'd like to mention. Let me start with a screenshot:

Watch The Video Before Anything Else... Don't Worry... I'll Wait...

Here's A Link To The Windows Media Version
And Here's A Link To The Flash Version

Freakin' Awesome Right? Here's Some Tiny Details You Might Not Have Noticed:

1. Approximately 28.557 seconds into the trailer you can hear a barely audible childs voice say

"Time To Go..." right before you hear the incoming radio transmission.

Link To Sound Clip: http://www.snapdrive.net/files/63052/timetogo.wav


2. Right after the child's voice finishes (29.187 Seconds) you hear Cortana's voice saying "chief... leave...". This deepens the mystery of the AI who when we last saw her in Halo 2, was in the clutches of "Gravemind". The way she says it almost sounds like a cry for help...

Link To Sound Clip: http://www.snapdrive.net/files/63052/chiefleave.wav


3. (40-45 Seconds Into The Video) Woo-Hoo! New Gadget (Here's To Hoping It Will Be In The Game)! For Lack Of A Better (And More Official Sounding) Name I Dub It... The "Porta-Shield"... Here Is A Screenshot:



4. (52 Seconds Into The Video) The amount of enemies Master Chief is facing.... Is Amazing:

By My Count:

12 Brutes
1 Hunter
And 6 Wraiths

Damn! Here Are Some Screenshots:

5. (0 Seconds Into Possibly The Best Video Ever Made) Sorry to backtrack but I just realized the that this needs to be said. I don't have my Halo novels with me right now but the children talking at the beginning of the video are probably John (aka "Master Chief") and a female Spartan. Before you say "Wait a minute! Don't they know about the Covenant?" you'll remember if you've read the novels that the Spartan 2 program was started because of the rebel uprising... Not the covenant. So that's John as a kid. Just thought that was important.... As it's the first time we get to look behind the mask.

Flash Animations

Just A Couple Of Flash Animations I Did:

Stephen Hawking - Ridin' Dirty

Comic - Clicker

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving (For US)! Happy Getting Rid Of Us (Britain)!

On this day I like to imagine that Iran Isn't preparing to nuke us (or North Korea... Or Both). I like to pretend that the magnificent symbolism of Plymouth Rock Isn't ruined by the fact that it wasn't even recognized as important until the early 1900's when they found a large rock in a public dump about 4 miles from the coast and decided that it should become famous... Yeah... Thank God for imagination.

James Bond Is: The Product Placer

So, by now everybody's heard of the new James Bond Film "Casino Royale". Anyone who hasn't should be immediately shot, at the very least. I was originally opposed to the movie (Bond is NOT blond you Assholes!!!). But soon enough the sweet smell of popcorn lured me to the movie theater. I had no other choice....

All in all it was a very good movie. It had the booms, the girls, the drama. But the product placements in this movie were out of control! In the first 30 minutes Ford, Virgin Atlantic, Sony, Kia, and Land Rovers were advertised. These weren't hidden or sneaky in any way. These were in your face, can't miss it advertisements (Not as bad as the Fantastic 4 movie mind you, but still pretty bad.)

Boycott RIAA And MPAA

The MPAA Has Started A Program That Gives Out Merit Badges To Boy Scouts Who Participate In Their "Program" Which Consists Of:

" The 52,000 Scouts who are eligible may earn the patch by participating in a curriculum produced by the MPAA. To earn the badge, Scouts must participate in several activities including creating a video public-service announcement and visiting a video-sharing website to identify which materials are copyrighted. They may also watch a movie and discuss how people behind the scenes would be harmed if the film were pirated."

Even If You're For All Of This, You Can't Say That It's Not Scary That A Large Corporation Can, In Essence, Buy The Boy Scouts.

To Read More About This Click Here

To See A Photoshop I Created By Edition An Image Of The Actual Badge Click Here

This Got Me Through Jr. High

Everybody Loves Online Games.... Everybody... Here's Some Free Sites You Should Check Out:

• NationLocation.com: This Website Got Me Through Jr. High Alive. It's Simple Games Have A Charm Not Found Anywhere Else.
• AddictingGames.com: Another One That Got Me Through Jr. High. This One Was Owned By A College Student When I Was In Jr. High And Has Been Since Sold For A Very Large Sum Of Money.
  
• MiniClip.com: This Site Has Some Very Addicting Games In Many Different Catagories. The Quality Of The Games Is Beyond Compare.
• PopCap.com: This Is A Site With Many Famous Games On It Including "Zuma" And "Bookworm".
• FlashPlayer.com: This Is A Fun One. Lots Of Games Submited By Other (Often Smaller) Game Sites.
• NewGrounds.com: This One Is Amazing. You Could Spend Years On This Site And Not Finish Playing All The Games. This One Is A Must.
  

Zombie Student Says: "Graaaaaaaaaaaades!"

Pupil Log: Earth Date 1052006 (and 37 minutes)

So tired... So, very tired... This Has To Be The Closest I've Pulled To An All-Nighter (Of Doing Homework Of Course, I've Had No Sleep Many A Night Because Of Gaming, But This Is Different) I'm Struggling To Stay Awake. I Have German, Math, And Some English Left. I Will Undoubtedly Not Get All Of It Done. Wish Me Luck... Time To Get Back To Work. *sigh*

Poems

Battle Scars (By Brogan Zumwalt)

I proudly bear the battle scars,
and I am not ashamed.
They are marks of endurance, and perseverance,
not old age.
I proudly bear the wrinkles,
these liver spots I've earned,
they allude to the life that I have led,
and all that I have learned.
My senses may be failing,
but I will still take in,
the sights, the sounds, the textures,
of this world I live in.
Oh, the sun it may be setting,
but do not grieve my friend,
it is such a beautiful evening,
and my life has been well lived.

Saint Clare Would Be Amazed

If You Ever Want To See Who God Loves Most Watch "The Worlds Most Amazing Videos" On Spike TV. People Who By All Means Should Be Dead (i.e. Dude Gets Blown Up Then Run Over... Twice. And He Lives! Don't Belive Us? We've Got It On Tape.) Live To Tell Their Story. It Has To Be One of My Top 5 Favorite Shows.

Here's A Link To What Time You Can See It



Note About The Title:

I'm Not Catholic But I Find The Story of Saint Clare of Assisi (Patron Saint of Television) Very Interesting. Here's A Link To Where You Can Read About It

This Is Why I Hate Mac's

No One Seems To Understand Why I Have Such Trouble With Mac's. Here's An Example Detailing Why (Actual Conversation):

Me: What Did I Do? Why Is Nothing Moving?

Mac User: Did You Insert A Flash Drive?

Me: Well, Yeah...

Mac User: Oh, That Explains It! You Aren't Supposed To Do That.

Me: What Do You Mean? I Can't Use A Flash Drive On A Mac?

Mac User: Yeah You Can But You Need To Insert It When The Fourth Logo Pops Up On The Loading Screen...

Me: All That Just To Save A Document?

Mac User: Oh! You Can't Save To A Flash Drive On Mac OS 4!

Me: Then Why Does It Have A USB Slot?

Mac User: Oh... I Don't Know...

Me: Okay, How Do I Restart It?

Mac User: You Can't.

Me: What?

Mac User: You Can't. When It Freezes The Off Button Doesn't Work.

Me: Well, How Am I Supposed To Turn It Off?

Mac User: You Have To Unplug It.

Me: Won't That Cause It To Lose Data?

Mac User: Probably...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, Here's A Video Detailing How I Feel About Macintosh:

Fake Mac Ad

Google SketchUp

I've Just Found Out About Google SketchUp, A Free 3-D Modeling Program With The Capability To Export The Drawings Into Google Earth, A Free 3-D World Map. Here Are Some Drawings I Have Made:





Google SketchUp Is Available Here

Self-Promotion

I've Been Creating Games And Animations Lately:


Click Here To Download A Partially Finished Sonic Game I'm Making

Here's A Preview For An Upcoming Series I'm Going To Make:







Enjoy!

Finally, A Huge Step Towards What We All Would Like To See... Monks With Rocket Launchers!

It seems that during a recent protest to end violence in Sri Lanka ended suddenly when Buddhist monks pulled out all the stops and began to brawl with other protestors. Fortunately it ended quickly due to pro-peace monks settling the crowd down.

"They were saying we should go to war," said pro-peace monk Madampawe Assagee. "We like to listen to other opinions so we let them do that but then they started fighting and we couldn't control some of our people. They tried to make it a big fight but we settled it in a few minutes."

What Madampawe didn't mention was the help from "Ol' Betsy", the sawed-of shotgun he keeps in his robe for situations like these.

Short Story: "Bossy"

Here's A Short Story I Wrote:

“Never again,” I told her, “I will never take advice from you ever again!”

My hamster just stared at me, as if it didn’t know what I was talking about. “Grounded for one month! This is all your fault JellyBean!” I yelled angrily at my hamster, who was spared the brunt of my aggression by her wireframe safe house. I continued to glare at JellyBean as she flipped on her back and made chirping noises as she wriggled her dime-sized paws in the air. “No! That may work on my Mom but I’m immune to your charms you demon-seed rodent!” I snapped. Sensing her ill-gotten charm wasn’t working, JellyBean maneuvered herself so that her furry butt was firmly planted on her exercise wheel. It gave her the appearance of a person sitting on their favorite chair. “What do you want?” I said with venom in my tone. JellyBean cocked her head and smirked slyly; as saying that I knew exactly what she wanted. “You want me to tell you what went wrong?” I asked incredulously. JellyBean just stared at me for the longest time… she didn’t blink once. Then JellyBean's head started to turn ever so slowly towards my lamp that was perched precariously close to the edge of the table it shared with JellyBean. She had pushed it over once; she wouldn’t hesitate to push it over again. “No…” I said my voice audibly shaking, “Y… you wouldn’t!” JellyBean got up from her wheel and, all the while looking directly at me, started slowly shuffling towards the lamp. “Please… Please!” I begged, “You know I’m afraid of the dark!” It was too late to try to move the lamp, she was too close. Then she stopped. The air was so still it could have been dead. She was giving me another chance! “Wait!” I cried out, “I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you everything!” JellyBean swiveled so that she was facing me, and waited for me to begin. I cleared my throat and started…

The test was about to begin. I remembered the advice you gave me not to ask to use the restroom all day. The teacher passed out all of the tests but before he could tell us to start I raised my hand and asked if I could use the restroom quickly. That’s when the trouble began. You told me he’d be annoyed, you didn’t tell me he’d give me a time limit! He gave me 30 seconds. 30 seconds! I went into this thinking I’d have at least one minute before anybody started getting suspicious! To make matters worse, I hadn’t used the restroom all day so now I really did have to go! But with 30 seconds I only had time to pull the fire alarm and make it look like I was coming out of the restroom! So I got out of the classroom went to the fire alarm and pulled it. Before I could take two steps a tremendous pain shot up my arm. It turns out that when you pull the alarm you break a glass tube containing permanent ink. The glass cut my hand and ink got into the cut; the nurse said it was kind of like a tattoo. The nurse also said that, like a tattoo, it was probably permanent. So I have a tattoo of a blob on my hand, I’ve been suspended, my parents grounded me, and it’s all your fault!

I started to cry. JellyBean looked almost sympathetic for a moment. Then she turned and pushed the lamp off the desk. Leaving me in total, utter darkness.





This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

Text To Speech Rocks!

Most People Have Heard Of Text To Speech Technology. Here's Your Chance To Try It:

AT &T Labs Is Working On A Project Called "AT&T Natural Voices Text-to-Speech". They Have Put A Demo Of Their Work On The Web.

You Can Click HERE To Go To The Site


OR

Click HERE For A Sample

EDIT (November 28, 2006): The Above Link No Longer Works... Sucks To Be You...

The Digital Life

A recent New York Times article touted the title "A Flash Drive That Holds Your Computer". The article says it works by not only storing files like MSWord Documents but also the system files that allow them to run. Exciting, no? Indeed exciting but also quite troubling. When I went to Jr. High floppy discs and CD's were almost banned because of the threat of uploading a virus to the schools computer. Of course the teachers were mistaken, we had Crapintosh's (once, for fun I checked how many instances of the "I Love You" virus were on a single Mac and lost count at 20. At this point you may be thinking to yourself, "Wow! What kind of firewall did you have?" The answer is, we didn't... At first this seems like a good thing... Then you get to thinking... If one of the world's most destructive viruses DOES NOT WORK on a Macintosh... Something's wrong with the Macintosh... But I digress...) The point I'm trying to make is: If computers can still get infected... Even though they have firewalls and anti-virus tools... Is it really a good idea to make something that can transfer a infected hard drive to a different computer?

The "flash drive" the New York Times was talking about was the "Ceedo Personal" running the "Lexar PowerToGo" software. The flash drive costs $53 to $90 for the 1GB and 2GB models respectively (an impressive 4GB model is set to be released in August). That kind of storage capacity is very frightening to this author. Think about the amount of viruses a disgruntled employee (statistically the most likely to sabotage a businesses computer) could store on a flash drive like that. Worse this could allow someone to unintentionally infect somebody's computer! The article also had worse news:

• "Lexar claims it's "Lightning" [flash drives]... Are two to six times as fast as regular flash drives..."
• "[Lexar's rival] U3 argues that [their flash drive]... offers more security... such as a password for the flash drive..." (U3 makes a special flash drive that allows you to install programs on the flash drive.
• "... [Ceedo's software] requires neither special programs nor special flash drives... It even runs on iPods and other portable drives..."
• "... Ceedo-equipped flash drives trick software installers into [installing]... onto a duplicate of your windows folder..."
• "... there's even a portable, duplicate registry on board..."
• "When you plug your drive into any PC - at, say, a Kinko's, a Airport Waiting Lounge, or at a friends house..."

Scary stuff...

Revenge!

I saw this recently on a chatboard (It's what you call a signature or "siggy". It comes after your message and is usually funny.):

"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift" ... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git."
Alexai Sayle.


I like our president, but I have to admit... that is pretty funny... I made a funnier one though:

"The British have different ways of saying things. They say "chips", we say "fries" ... they say "teeth", we say "monstrosities"...

Strife_Master

Work Sucks

Recently I've heard the following phrase over and over: "Doesn't Work Give You Such A Satisfying Feeling?" To which I usually respond, "No, but you give me a 'Stepford Wife' feeling." With that aside I will now talk about my opinions on work.

1. Work is not satisfying.


After doing several hours of yard work I would never say, "Wow! How Fulfilling! I Wish I Could Do That Again!" However, I would say, "Damn... What A Waste of Time..."


2. Work does not "Feel Good".


I can honestly say that it has the opposite effect on me. It "Feels Like My Muscles Are Rapidly Atrophying".


3. Work does not give you a sense of accomplishment.


Rather it gives you a depressing feeling. (i.e. "It Looked Better Before...")

I hope this helps you in your decision on what to do this summer... Me, I'm going to Vegas.

EDIT (November 28, 2006): I Really Did Go To Las Vegas That Summer... It Rocked...