UAT LAN Party

Short Video I Made of the LAN Party Friday Night (a few hours ago). Sorry about the quality. Youtube has downgraded the already poor quality of my video.

I Spell Car G-I-N-A

No words can express how much I love this car... Only videos:

An Explanation






A Demonstration






Headlight Demonstration





I haven't been able to find any videos of the interior, only photos, but even the photos are enough to take your breath away:


Interior 01
Interior 02
Interior 03
Interior 04
Interior 05
Interior 06
Interior 07
Interior 08

You can see the entire gallery here

Me: i love you GINA

GINA:HONK HONK

News and Updates

I've got a Flickr page now!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/80966633@N00/

You can see a slideshow of all of my photos on the right side of the page under the words "STRIFEMASTER'S FLICKR PHOTOSTREAM"

For now, a lot of the photos that you will see are pictures of I took during Nurf Warz tournaments.

Oh! I'm selling stuff on Amazon as well:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/shops/storefront/index.html?ie=UTF8&marketplaceID=ATVPDKIKX0DER&sellerID=A45XO91GJKK6W

Oh! Almost forgot! New Youtube video! This is a prank my roommate and I thought up after he bought a new TV:

In other news:

I've written short stories! (Yes, I've actually finished these two!)

Short story _ _ _

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                                   |

                                  \/

Familiar Leaves

 

The high school boy walking through the park with me today looks miserable. It’s his own damn fault. Probably thought community service would look good on his resume. Now he’s miserable because he has to walk an old man through the park. To hell with him. I can walk through the park fine on my own. It’s probably those orderlies again, trying to make me feel useless they are! Well, it is what it is. I’m smiling as the snow crunches beneath my boots. I look up and see a leafless oak tree…

 They lower my wife’s body into the ground as the priest says something I don’t listen to. His voice gradually fades out in my mind to a dull hum. I can hear the wind rustling through the oak tree that’s next to my wife’s grave. There is a soft dry noise as some of the leaves come off the tree with the wind. The crisp fall breeze hits me and I pull my coat closer. The priest is still talking but I can’t even hear him anymore. I look up at the oak tree as another leaf comes off in the wind…

 My wife cries out with joy. I’ve just taken the blindfold off and shown her our new house. Our first house. It’s everything she ever wanted, everything she described as her dream house. A short white picket fence surrounding a green lawn with a stone pathway leading up to the front porch. A blue house with white trim, her favorite colors. Peeking out from behind the house is an enormous oak tree with beautiful green leaves that seem to shimmer in the summer sunset...

 The setting sun casts an eerie glow on Susan’s naked body. We made love in the warm grass this afternoon for hours under the oak tree on the hill. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on. I want her to know that. I want her to know I can’t be without her. I want her to know that I love her more than it would be possible to describe. I make a trail of kisses from her neck down to her breasts. I look into her eyes and see the reflection of the flowers of spring in full bloom. “Marry me”, I say…

 I am lost in a dream; something makes me snap out of it. The high school boy is asking if I’m alright. I brush him off. How long have I been starring at that oak tree? It only seems like a few seconds. Something about it must have caught my eye. I can’t for the life of me figure out why. I must look a fool. An old man surrounded by beautiful trees but only interested in one. It suddenly seems to get colder. I decide to head back. It’s almost time for dinner anyway.

Another short story ___

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                                           \/

Smalltime

“Okay, I’ve got one”, Mark said with a grin, “the priest with the erection in The Little Mermaid.” Derek smiled smugly and declared, “Nope, not true.” “What do you mean no?” “It was his knee.” “That’s not what I heard.” “It’s true! I Snoped it!” “You did what?” Mark asked. “I looked it up on Snopes. I Snoped it.” “You made that up.” “I did indeed” Derek proclaimed proudly. “I’ve got another one”, Mark said continuing before Derek could argue, “There’s a cloud of dust in the Lion King that looks like the word ‘SEX’.” “Not quite.” “Oh! Come on!” “It actually says ‘SFX’”, Derek said with an all too familiar smugness, “It was an easter egg put in by the effects animators.” “That settles it; you have way too much free-time.” “That’s not true, I work very hard!” “You watch movies!” “No, I review movies for a respected newspaper.” “Since when was the ‘Irving Times’ a respected newspaper?” “$60,000 a year says it’s very respectable.” There was an awkward silence as Mark’s argument crumpled under the weight of Derek’s paycheck.

It was just after 12 o’clock and the street was nearly empty. It was a warm Tuesday afternoon. Cheap looking plastic banners were still attached to lampposts on the street proudly announcing an art exhibition by some semi-famous and highly overrated sculptor. The date on the banners said April 14^th-April 16^th. It was now the middle of June and the banners were in a sad state. The Taco Bell parking lot Mark’s car was idling in was empty save for a few of the employee’s cars. Derek had brought along a novel that he had been meaning to finish. He was reading it now. Mark had brought along an old Hustler magazine he had found wedged between the cushions of his couch, but didn’t especially feel like reading it in a Taco Bell parking lot next to his best friend. For now the smut stayed under Mark’s seat. Mark looked at the street lamp banners for a while and then looked at his watch. 12:17. 13 minutes to go. He thought briefly about getting a Burrito but decided that he wasn’t hungry. Instead he looked at a window advertisement that claimed that it was never too late for “Fourthmeal”. Mark looked at his watch again, 12:18. 12 minutes to go. He took a peek over Derek’s shoulder to see what he was reading,

“In quantum mechanics, the forces or interactions between matter particles are all supposed to be carried by particles of integer spin – 0, 1, or 2. What happens is that a matter particle, such as an electron or a quark, emits a force-carrying particle. The recoil from this emission changes…”

“What the hell are you reading Derek”, Mark asked while recoiling in horror as it appeared that his friend was reading an instructional manual for an atomic bomb. “It’s ‘A Brief History of Time’ by Stephen Hawking.” Mark’s eyes lit up, “The robot dude!” “He’s not a robot, he’s…”, Derek began then continued with a sigh, “Yes, the robot dude.” “Sweet.” “So, tell me again about this guy we’re picking up”, Derek asked tossing the book into the back seat, “Where did you meet him?” “Steve’s an old friend from college that I bumped into at the video store.” “I didn’t know you went to college”, exclaimed a surprised Derek, “What did you major in?” “Philosophy” Derek’s eyes bugged out, “You have a degree in philosophy?!?” Mark laughed, “Of course not! I dropped out in the second semester.” Derek changed the subject, “Over the phone you said this was going to be dangerous, how dangerous are we talking about here?” “You want to know the plan?” “Yes, that would be most ideal.”

“We wait here until 12:30 then drive across the street to the bank where Steve runs out and ‘hijack’s’ my car.” “Why is Steve ‘hijacking’ your car?” “Well, for one, he’s paying us to”, Mark explained, “and if we are involved in a high-speed chase, the cops are less likely to ram a car with hostages inside.” “I almost hate to ask this but, why would we be involved in a high speed chase with the police?” “Because of all the money Steve stole”, Mark said cheerfully.

“So, basically, we’re robbing a bank”, Derek said with an amount of calm in his voice that should not have been possible, “You made this sound a lot safer over the phone.” “No, we are never even entering the bank. We are just innocent bystanders who were forced to drive the bank robber to Mexico.” Derek looked unconvinced of the validity of this plan, “What’s our cut again?” “$5000 to split between the two of us.” Derek did some quick math, “That’s only $2500 for me, that’s 1/24^th of my yearly paycheck.” Another potentially awkward silence was averted by a quick interjection from Mike, “You’ve mentioned before wanting to branch out from movie reviews, I’ll bet this would make a great article.” “Mmmmmnnh”, Derek said. Mike looked down at his watch, “It’s time, you in or out?” “Ah, what the hell, I’ve got nothing better to do.” Mike pulled out of the Taco Bell parking lot feeling vaguely hungry, and drove across the street to the First Bank of Irving. Then they waited.

Steve was late. “It’s been five minutes”, Derek said nervously. Mike said nothing as his car continued to idle. Mike was busy watching more and more customers enter the bank. “What happens if the police catch us”, Derek asked. “Steve did the math; there are just over 400 employees of the Irving Police Department. Only a few of those are actually patrol officers, and only a few of those patrol officers are on beat right now”, Mike said reassuringly, “It’s 12:35 so most of the cops are having lunch.” “Not all of them are having lunch though, what about the ones still patrolling?” “Well, Steve said…” Mike was interrupted by the screeching entrance of a car into the bank parking lot. “Is that Steve”, Derek asked pointing at the man who had jumped out of the car that had just arrived wearing a black ski mask and brandishing a gun. “I guess so”, Mark said nervously as Steve rushed through the bank doors and fired three shots in the air. It was obvious by the looks on both Mark and Derek’s faces that neither of them had expected an armed robbery would be so violent. As the minutes went by the tension in the car increased until it felt like trying to breath while incased in a stick of butter. Derek fumbled for his book and tried to read but found himself reading the sentence about the exchange of electrons between atoms in gravity waves over and over again. Meanwhile Mark was trying desperately to think about the best route to Mexico from the bank but kept getting distracted by the occasional loud demands of Steve from inside the bank.

Suddenly four shots rang out. Steve limped out of the bank carrying two bags full of cash then jerked the back door to Mike’s car open and screamed hoarsely, “DRIVE!” Mike fumbled with the keys for a minute then bolted out of the Bank’s parking lot. As Mike entered the on ramp to the highway there was a loud thud from the back seat. Steve had collapsed onto the floor knocking over one of the bank bags spilling twenties haphazardly. Derek twisted his body to see what had happened and saw Steve lying on the floor with blood pooling out from two holes in his side and one in his thigh. “Jesus, Mike he’s been shot”, Derek said turning pale, “What do we do?” Mike didn’t answer, his knuckles were white and his eyes kept darting to the rearview mirror. “Mike! What do we do”, Derek yelled grabbing Mike’s shoulders and shaking him, “What do we do?” “I don’t know! This wasn’t part of the plan”, he snapped, “Let me think!” Derek didn’t say anything, every few minutes he thought he heard a police siren but it always turned out to be a passing truck. “Is he still bleeding”, Mike asked breaking the silence. Derek turned around again, “Yeah, he’s still bleeding.” “Then he’s still alive, we keep going”

Thirty minutes later Mike asked again. Derek twisted around again. Steve was dead. Mike pulled off the highway near Forreston and onto a dirt road. After a few miles he stopped the car. “We have to get Steve out.” Derek nodded and they both got out of the car. “I’ll drag him out by his legs and then you grab his arms”, Mike said as if Steve was an old piece of furniture. Derek gulped and nodded his head. They dragged him to a ditch about two hundred feet from the road and hid him in a patch of tall grass. Mike emptied Steve’s pockets. As they were walking back to the car Mike opened Steve’s wallet, he gasped then ran back over to Steve’s body and removed his ski cap. Derek ran over to Mike, “What’s wrong?” Mike smiled then began to laugh until tears came from his eyes. “What”, asked Derek in a panicked voice, “What’s wrong?” Mike wiped the tears from his eyes and sat on the ground, “This isn’t Steve.” “What!?!” “You heard me, it’s some guy named Frank Wilkinson.” “Who the hell is Frank Wilkinson?” “No idea, never seen him before in my life.” Derek was confused, “Was he someone who Steve hired?” Mike shrugged, “Maybe, probably not. Steve probably chickened out and this guy just happened to be robbing the bank.” “What’s so funny then?” “Have you counted the money in the bags?” Derek ran back to the car just as Mike burst into laughter again. Five minutes later Derek came back and sat down next to Mike and began laughing with him. “How much do we have?” “$600,000, give or take a few stray twenties”, Derek said giggling. They both got up and headed back to the car. Derek looked at Mike, “How far do we have to go till we get to the border?” “From Forreston? About 400 miles, we should get there in about six hours.” “I don’t have my passport; do you think we’ll get through ok?” “Getting into Mexico will be no problem”, Mike said grinning; “Getting back into the States is what we have to worry about.” Mike started the engine, “We’re almost out of gas.” “With $600,000 dollars in the back seat gas doesn’t seem so expensive anymore.” Mike turned on the radio and the news started playing. There wasn’t even a mention of a bank robbery. As they filled up the car with gas Mike said, “You know, looking back on the whole thing, I think that turned out pretty well.” “It went even better than expected”, Derek said while doing some math in his head, “We got 240 times more money than was originally planned.” They paid then got back in the car. Mike turned on the radio. “I still can’t believe I earned $300,000 today” Derek marveled, “That’s five times my yearly payc…” Mike turned the volume on the radio up all the way.

Project Billy

Lately I've developed an interest in artificial intelligence or AI for short. I found a program on the web called BILLY that claims to utilize "Machine Learning and Natural Language Generation" and "Keyword-matching rules" to emulate talking to an actual person. After downloading the program and experimenting a bit with it I agree that it is like talking to an actual person. As long as said person has been repeatedly beaten in the head with a lead pipe which is now lodged half-way into his frontal lobe. At least it was amusing. I've saved a few of the transcripts of conversations with Billy which I will post now. 

This transcript was made after several hours of talking to "Billy" so he's already learned a few words from me which he uses to muddle sentences. This conversation takes place after I've restarted the last few conversations:

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### BILLY 4.1: Transcript of February 15, 2009 at 3:00

### Bot BILLY talking to BROGAN

######################################################

BILLY> what is your name?

USER> Brogan

BILLY> where do you live?

USER> Tempe

BILLY> i've been meaning to ask you... have you ever been in sure, brogan?

BROGAN> What?

BILLY> what's your favorite sport?

BROGAN> i do not like sports

BILLY> same goes for me.

BROGAN> what do you like?

BILLY> why would i ever? that is crazy!

BROGAN> what is your name?

BILLY> my name is billy!

BROGAN> what is your mothers name

BILLY> i think my mothers is broken.

BROGAN> i am sorry to hear that

BILLY> wonderful.

BROGAN> is your mom broken?

BILLY> what is my mothers name.

BROGAN> you have no mother

BILLY> why must you be so negative, brogan.

BROGAN> you said your mother was broken

BILLY> were we even talking about my mother?

BROGAN> yes

BILLY> that is great!

BROGAN> how old are you?

BILLY> if you must know, i'm 22. ^_^

BROGAN> how old am i?

BILLY> you are sorry to hear that.

BROGAN> i am 19

BILLY> i am i do... just sorry you!

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> what's your favorite book?

BROGAN> the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

BILLY> i think my galaxy is broken.

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> what's your favorite movie?

BROGAN> pulp fiction

BILLY> the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> what is your favorite movie?

BILLY> i said my mother was broken.

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> pulp fiction.

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> i last talked to you today

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> who?

BILLY> 2:54... almost time for my favorite tv show!

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> when?

BILLY> the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy?

BROGAN> where?

BILLY> my mother used to tell me more.

BROGAN> your mom is broken

BILLY> is your mom broken?

BROGAN> no

BILLY> why must you be so negative, brogan!

BROGAN> my mom is not broken

BILLY> actually, my girlfriend has my mom. :O

BROGAN> !!!

BILLY> is your mom broken!

BROGAN> NO!

BILLY> can you just be positive once, brogan?

BROGAN> yes

BILLY> that is great!

BROGAN> no

BILLY> can you just be positive once, brogan! {:'O

BROGAN> yes

BILLY> that is the spirit, brogan?

BROGAN> no

BILLY> can you just be positive once, brogan!

BROGAN> yes

BILLY> now, that is what i like to hear.

BROGAN> no! no! no!

BILLY> can you just be positive once! brogan!

BROGAN> maybe

BILLY> maybe not wonderful. but are sure of i!

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> what is your mother's name?

BILLY> what is my mothers name.

BROGAN> sally

BILLY> my name is billy?

BROGAN> your mother's name is sally.

BILLY> were we even talking about mother's name?

BROGAN> YES!!!!!

BILLY> what i ok! but obviously sure would ok!!!!!

BROGAN> what?

BILLY> 

BROGAN> answer me!

BILLY> answer me!

BROGAN> you first!

BILLY> my name is billy,

BROGAN> :(

BILLY> is your mom broken!

BROGAN> BOOBS!

BILLY> is your mom broken!

BROGAN> no

BILLY> why must you be so negative!!!!! brogan?

BROGAN> you are negative

BILLY> you're pretty negative yourself. :^o

BROGAN> not as negative as you

BILLY> 2:59... almost time for my mothers tv show.

BROGAN> what is your mothers tv show?

BILLY> what is my mothers name.

BROGAN> sally

BILLY> 2:59... almost time for my mothers tv show.

BROGAN> your name is William!

BILLY> when i was younger, i had my name.

BROGAN> william!

BILLY> my name is are!!!!!

BROGAN> your name is are!!!

BILLY> i think my name is broken.

____________________________________________________________________

Well that was fun. After resetting his entire memory to start from scratch (naively believing that I had somehow made a mistake and messed up his ability to learn) I decided to try again. The results were pretty much the same. At this point I figured,"Screw it! Let's let Billy talk to The Hulk!" Which is exactly what I did:

######################################################

### BILLY 4.1: Transcript of February 15, 2009 at 3:06

### Bot BILLY talking to HULK

######################################################

BILLY> what is your name?

USER> HULK

BILLY> where do you live?

USER> PAIN

BILLY> if most people jumped off a bridge,. billy are!!!!! too.

HULK> HULK JUMP OFF BRIDGE!

BILLY> what's your favorite sport?

HULK> SMASH!

BILLY> what's your favorite book?

HULK> HULK NO READ!

BILLY> you negative am! way billy maybe hulk yeah,

HULK> HULK SMASH LITTLE BILLY!

BILLY> what's your favorite movie?

HULK> Pride and Prejudice

BILLY> smash billy negative!!!!! but negative goodbye do yes!!!

HULK> HULK CONFUSED!

BILLY> read jump off bridge!!!!!

HULK> HULK JUMP OFF BRIDGE NOW!

BILLY> 

HULK> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............................

BILLY> if most people jumped off a bridge,. goodbye goodbye, great! :)

____________________________________________________________________

After laughing my ass off I once again reset Billy's memory and decided to have a conversation using only quotes from the movie The Usual Suspects.  This conversation has a bit of harsh language in it so I've colored the text black. To read the conversation just highlight the blank space with your mouse:

######################################################

### BILLY 4.1: Transcript of February 15, 2009 at 3:17

### Bot BILLY talking to SöZE

######################################################

BILLY> what is your name?

USER> Keyser Söze

BILLY> where do you live?

USER> Turkey

BILLY> 3:12... almost time for my favorite tv show?

SöZE> Give me the fucking keys, you fucking cocksucking motherfucker. Aaarrrghh.

BILLY> actually, my girlfriend has the fucking.

SöZE> You had a gun, then why didn't you help him? He was your friend!

BILLY> do you ever stop talking about him?

SöZE> Keaton?

BILLY> what's your favorite sport?

SöZE> I can put you in Queens on the night of the hijacking.

BILLY> are you totally obsessed with the night?

SöZE> You think you can catch Keyser Söze?

BILLY> i had a gun, then why did not me help him? he was my friend!

SöZE> Because I was afraid, okay? I was afraid.

BILLY> i, maybe did i know that,.

SöZE> It was Keyser Söze, Billy, The Devil himself.

BILLY> i think my devil is broken.

SöZE> How do you shoot the devil in the back?

BILLY> yes of course? much i do yeah where.

SöZE> What if you miss?

BILLY>i had a gun, then why did not me help him? he was my friend!:(

SöZE> I'm a businessman now.

BILLY> wonderful surprisingly ist? much music negative of bad,.

SöZE> In English, please?

BILLY> you can put me in queens on the night of the hijacking.

SöZE> Really? I live in Queens. Did you put that together yourself, Einstein? Got a team of monkeys working around the clock on this?

BILLY> you can put me in queens on the night of the hijacking.

Until next time,

          Brogan