10 Things I've Noticed While Watching Scooby-Doo

1. Without her glasses, Velma goes completely and utterly insane (i.e. Location: Theme Park on Island - Description: Velma is driving a modified bumper car when she looses her glasses. She then makes comments on how wide the road is [she's driving in between tents], when she almost runs into the villain [a robot that's going haywire] she apologizes to the "police man who is directing traffic" [they have already found out that the only ones besides them on the island are the two caretakers, and the insane robot. Furthermore the only way to get to the island is by boat and there are no roads on the island]. When Velma finally manages to stop the car and get her glasses back, she denies having had any problems at all)
2. Shaggy's beard is either drawn on with a sharpie or it's some kind of skin condition because nobody has a beard so thin that only the outline is visible.
3. Here's something interesting: When watching any cartoon (especially the old ones, but I've seen some newer ones do this as well) look for an object on the screen (i.e. a lamp, an axe, etc) that seems slightly brighter/lighter colored than most of the rest of the scenery. More often than not, that object will be moved, picked up by a character, or change in some way or another. My theory is that it serves as a sort of "place-marker" for the animators to tell them that this object does so and so. Possibly that object was drawn on after the background was.
4. In the right light, Velma's kinda hot...
5. Shaggy, Scooby, Fred, Velma, and Daphne have really slow reaction times. I once counted five whole seconds before they even noticed the ghost that was four feet in front of them. Then again, it was the sixties, so they were probably high as kites the whole episode.
6. Where the heck are Fred and Daphne, you only see them for a few minutes per episode. I know that they said that they usually focused writing for the "funny ones" but still, you have to wonder why Fred enjoys splitting up so much, especially when he's the one paired with Daphne. (Question: Has Fred ever been paired with anybody but Daphne?) Shaggy is always upset when they have to split up, Daphne never seems to mind. I guess that makes her the "Yoko" of the group...
7. Speaking of Daphne, she seems to enjoy falling down trap doors that lead to basements and dungeons... Hmmmm... Kinky....
8. I swear, they are trying to get rid of that dog. Maybe it's just self-preservation though, I mean, if some insane ghost knight was chasing me with an axe, I'd send in the talking dog to check out the dark room too.
9. Fred needs to get a hobby or he's gonna snap. I mean a hobby besides catching bad guys. A healthy hobby that couldn't get anybody hurt, unlike his current hobby of building Rube Goldbergian traps that often involve Scooby-Doo getting injured.
   
10. They always run into jewel thieves or mischievous treasure hunters, but never mass murderers or crazy cult leaders. I know it's a kids show, but some variety would be nice. (The video below illustrates exactly what I mean):

They've Done It: So Bad It's Almost Good: Halo CE Maps: Burnside

Map Name: Burnside
Screenshots:

Screenshot Descriptions (Clockwise From Top Left):

Picture 1: It's like you're looking through the eyes of an insane man! I mean, come on, who else but the "mentally screwed up" would think to put those textures there?!? What the heck is that vaguely box-like thing floating in mid-air? You can't reach it, I've tried. Oh, did I mention that you can walk up walls and that the jet you can fly in has been replaced by a toaster? How about the fact that the tank and jeep have polka-dots?

Picture 2: You can't see it very clearly, but that is a badly textured "pod racer" from Star Wars. This is a Halo game. Although both Star Wars and Halo are in the same genre (Sci-fi) they do not mix at all... This is a travesty.

Picture 3: Yes, it's a giant skateboard... And it has some sort of invisible turret since it can fire bolts of plasma. Like all vehicles on this map, once you hop into the drivers seat, you are apparently injected with an entire keg of hard liqueur since you can't drive for sh** in these vehicles. In fact, if you dare to take a left or right turn at all, you are immediately thrown forcefully out of the vehicle and back flip dozens of times before you land on the ground and instantly die.

Picture 4: I had to kill myself (in the game) to get this one. For some reason the creator of the map thought it would be funny to dress poor Master Chief up in a prisoner outfit.

If you really feel that for some reason you need to have this map, here is the download link

NOTE: You need to have Halo CE installed for this to work

Installation Instructions Can Be Found Here

They've Done It: So Bad It's Almost Good: Halo CE Maps: Introduction

If you can't make head or tail of the title, here is a brief glossary:

Halo: A wildly popular first person shooter video game series (the one we'll be talking about is the first Halo game, specifically the PC version)

Halo CE: Stands for Halo Custom Edition, a free add-on to Halo for PC that allows you to play multi-player maps made by people using the Halo Development Kit.

Halo Development Kit: A tool for making custom Halo CE maps

Now that we've got that over with let me tell you the premise of this post.

There are hundreds if not thousands of Halo CE maps. Some are brilliantly made, others... well, they just can't cut it. But there are a select few Halo CE maps that are so bad that they are very nearly good. The next few posts will be about them. Enjoy!


NOTE: Remember, my opinion of which maps are good or bad may not be the same as yours. In fact, it could be drastically different. But it's my opinion so shove off... But if you agree, feel free to post a comment praising my brilliance.

New Blog

I've decided to create another blog. This in no way will affect this blog, but will serve to enhance it. The new blog will consist of my commentary on this blog (i.e. Where I got the idea for the post, my personal feelings on the finished post, etc.). Here is the address: http://www.strifecommentary.blogspot.com

Last Words

I was feeling a bit morbid today so I wrote this list of words I might want to say on my deathbed:

• Well... This totally screws up my plans for Saturday...
• It turns out that the light at the end of the tunnel is just a "Laser Floyd" show.
• Before I die, I'd like to let you know that, although I love you all very much, I'm going to make you fight to the death in a televised cage match in order to win my inheritance. It will be hosted by an Elvis impersonator handpicked by myself and my invisible pet monkey "Jubjub".
• Dance! Dance for my amusement!
• I want my remains donated to "Fear Factor".
• When I die... Leave my heart in San Fransisco.
• I want my remains frozen until they find a way to bring back the dead!
• Either you find a way to end world hunger within the hour, or I will set off a 1 megaton bomb I have hidden somewhere under the grounds of Shel Silverstein's birthplace...
• What? Wait, are you crying?!? Oh don't be such a baby! Look everybody! Will's crying! Let's all laugh at the little baby!
• Wait... I... I see a light! There's people here... (Gasp) Someone's walking towards me... It's ... It's Aunt Cassie! Wait... She... She has something... IT'S A GUN! SHE HAS A GUN!!!
• The only way you can make me proud now son is to learn to speak Russian fluently before I die... You have twenty minutes starting........... NOW!

The Presidents Song

I just found this old gem from the days when I used to watch the Animaniacs. It was a great little show and I plan on buying the DVD's of it soon. Meanwhile here is a song from the show:







Here are the lyrics if you are interested...

Crazy Infomercials

Here Are Some Of My Favorites:

"Dr. Ho's Muscle Massage System"

"Rejuvenique"

"Tony Little's Gazelle Freestyle"

"Myotron Pulse Wave"

"Santo Gold" (Possibly The Most Confusing Infomercial Ever)

Innapropriate Games (Part 1): The Farting Game

Farting Game

Use the spacebar to try and squeeze out as many farts as you can without the guy beside you noticing. You can use the left arrow key to pass ’silent’ farts at any time. If you don’t release enough gas and the large meter fills to the top, you’ll explode and the game will be over. If the other guy hears you, the game ends as well.

Note: Try To Beat My High Score Of 5690

Fun Animation Thingie...

I Made This With A Generator On http://roxik.com/pictaps/

It's A Very Simple Time Waster... Just Color The Guy In And It Animates Him For You.