It's All About The 'Gyver!

I love Hulu and Youtube, but Joost will always hold a special place in my heart as the only (or at least the most legal) way to watch every MacGyver episode free. You only have to put up with 3 to 4 30-second commercials per episode and you don't have to sign up or anything! To whet your appetite, I present you with the opening credits for MacGyver in all it's 80's goodness:



P.S. Sorry about the non-widescreen resolution. I had to mess with the embed code a bit to have it fit inside the margins of the post. If you want to see the 640x360 resolution click Here (the video starts after the commercial).

Star Trek - Orion Females

Poor, poor Captain Pike...

The Godfather: Ruined

Well, I've officially run out of ideas (for now). In the mean time I'm going to steal them (the ideas). Here's a classic movie scene from the Godfather, ruined by a bad soundtrack in Something Awful tradition.

New Crazy Talk Video

I recently downloaded the demo of newest version of Crazy Talk (a program that makes still photos appear to talk). Here's a video I made using it:

Unfortunately, since it is a demo the watermark is still there. I would buy the program but it's $50. I need to decide whether I want to spend $50 bucks on a program that I would use maybe once or twice a month.

You: (Hearty Laughter)Me: (Knowing Smile)

In the short time I've been in college I've seen a sharp rise in my viewing of funny videos. This is partially due the the fact the people around me are watching funny videos. Well enough talking, bring on the funny!

The Clone Wars

I'm going to see "Star Wars: The Clone Wars". From what everyone says, It's horrible.

Here are some choice quotes from reviews at IMDB:

• "The acting and characters are wooden and two dimensional..."


• "Stiff animation makes everyone come across as a cross between an action figure and a Thunderbird..."


• "...disappointingly shallow, dull, and unneeded side story..."


• "This movie fails on every level. It begins with, I kid you not, the announcer from The Powerpuff Girl's voice replacing the opening crawl we've come to know and love, presumably because the target audience, American children, can't read at even that glacial pace. I don't know if it's even necessary at this point to say something as redundant as 'this movie has a horrible script and stiff acting;' that's just something we've come to expect with Star Wars in the last decade."

Then why go see it you ask? I need to... I'm compelled to because it's Star Wars! It could be a movie about farting Taun-tauns and I'd see it if it was Star Wars. Apparently I'm not alone, it earned $14.6 million on it's opening weekend. The fact is that I'm going to see a movie that I know won't be good. Why?

Although the Star Wars Franchise in general has gone steadily downhill since George Lucas released the "remastered" versions of the original films and even more so with the so-called prequels, Star Wars fans don't seem to care. Sure we may groan and whine about how each of the prequels sucked in thier own special way (they did by the way), but with every new prequel that came out we lined up (and some of us even camped out) in droves to see the new steaming pile of shit that George had squeezed out. It's not because we're stupid or believed that this one was going to be the one that breathed new life into the franchise; we knew full well that "Revenge of the Sith" was going to suck (although we always did hold out a bit of hope). We saw it because there is something special about a world where good and evil have epic battles with lightsabers, because there is something magical in a world where the force exists, theres something so wonderful about the entire Star Wars universe that we just can't miss any part of it. We saw those movies and will continue to see them because we love Star Wars, and we're so eager to learn about every new facet of that universe that we're willing to sit through a bad movie to learn about it. No matter how bad the Clone Wars is, I'll sit through it and even enjoy parts of it. Not because those parts were particularly well written, but because I'm watching my favorite universe grow.

It's Time To Bring The Funny Back!

It's been a while since my last post so now it's time to bring the funny back!





Saving Private Snickers







Batman Should Tone It Down







The Dark Black Knight







Dark Knight Deleted Scene






As You May Have Noticed, I Am On A Batman Binge


Here's something not Batman related. Several balloons, I think each had the name of an orphan attached to it, were released at a United Way charity event in England and something very special happened:

Rock-afire Explosion

Some of you may remember a few months ago when I posted a video I found of animatronic Chuck E. Cheese type animals singing BUBBA SPARXXX (you know that goes "Booty, booty, booty, booty, rockin' everywhere"). Well, I've finally found the rest of the videos they've made. Enjoy!




Madonna - 4 Minutes





Usher - Love In This Club





Here's the guy's website: www.starsof.com/fans

Generic Country Song #42

Keep in mind that this is an unfinished rough draft:

I just shot my dog on account of the rabies,
I've been under the weather all week,
My wife up and left me,
My kids say they hate me,
Man, what a hell of a week

Chorus:

And I'm so blue,
I can't see the sky,
I'm wonderin' why God, he hates me,
I'm thinkin''bout cryin',
I'm wonderin' 'bout dyin',
When did the world get so mean?




Generic Country Song #42 (Unfinished Rough Draft) by Brogan Zumwalt is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Star Trek - Captain's Orders

My Newest Video Edit:







Here are some more Star Trek parodies (ones that I didn't make):

Presidential Loose Yourself

The following video was created for my Senior Portfolio Presentation. You can find my Senior Portfolio in it's entirety in the post below this one.

My Senior Portfolio

This is a collection of video edits I did for my Senior Portfolio. Some of them you may have seen, others you have not. Enjoy!

P.S. I'll be releasing the last clip by itself soon.

Star Trek

Last night I was bored and was perusing the short plot synopses of Star Trek episodes on Wikipedia. I have recently been on a Star Trek binge and was trying to decide which episode to watch next. Looking at the synopses, I have to say, was hilarious. Hour long shows are complex and very difficult to describe in a single sentence. Star Trek episodes are no exception. Even the best sentence long descriptions of the episodes are often less informative then they are "theater of the absurd". Some of the synopses seem a bit over the top, even for Star Trek.
I'll give a few examples:

• "What Are Little Girls Made Of?"
  
  Nurse Chapel searches for her long lost fiancé, and uncovers his secret plan for galactic conquest.



• "Shore Leave"
  
  The crew of the Enterprise visits a bizarre planet, encountering the rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland", fighter planes and Samurai.



• "Spock's Brain"
  
  Captain Kirk pursues aliens who have stolen Spock's brain.



• "The Way to Eden"
  
  The Enterprise is hijacked by a criminal doctor and his loyal, hippie-like followers who are attempting to find paradise.

And here's a few from Star Trek: The Next Generation:

• "Darmok"
  
  Picard struggles to communicate with an alien Captain who speaks in metaphors, before an invisible beast kills them both.



• "Bloodlines"
  
  DaiMon Bok returns to exact revenge on Picard, by trying to kill the son Picard never knew he had.

Graduation

As my High School Graduation looms ever closer I often find myself looking for words of wisdom. How should I conduct myself in the years to come? How long should I spend smelling the proverbial roses? How can I best realize my dreams in the future? I think this graduation speech sums up all of the answers pretty well...

See more funny videos at CollegeHumor

Do Not Pay Any Attention To This... I'm Just Doing This To Enter A Contest

But Seriously, It does look like a cool movie..

Revenge of the Funny Trailers!

Tom Hanks 007





Lite Brite, or Die Hard





X-Men-3:The Last Standing Ovation





Singin' In The Rain (Special Edition)

Classic Toons

If you're like me, you watched a lot of cartoons as a kid. Chances are some (in my case most) of the cartoons you watched featured Bugs Bunny. Maybe you pulled on your ears for hours on end in a futile attemp to actually become Bugs Bunny... No? It was just me then. Anyways, enjoy this collection of 9 of my favorite Bugs Bunny cartoons:


What's Opera, Doc? (aka "Kill The Wabbit")[1957]






Rabbit of Seville [1949]






Haredevil Hare (First Appearance of Marvin the Martian) [1948]






A Wild Hare (First Time Bugs Says, "What's Up, Doc?) [1940](Sorry About Bad Sound/Video Quality)






Duck! Rabbit! Duck! (It is a crime in 23 states if you have not seen this cartoon) [1953]






Water, Water Every Hare (This is one of my personal favorites) [1952]






Broom-Stick Bunny (Another Personal Favorite) [1956]






Hyde and Hare (Yet Another Personal Favorite) [1955]






Bully for Bugs (Still Another Personal Favorite) [1952]

Quiz Time!

24

64%

37%

146,475 People

90% Geek
90%




53%

1%How Addicted to Apple Are You?

I SCORED A 86%

368 WATTS Body Battery Calculator - Find Out How Much Electricity Your Body is Producing -

Your Body is Producing 368 Watts!
This is 47% MORE wattage than the average person

* You could light up 4 light bulbs
* You could power 92 iPods
* You could power 2 Xbox 360s
* 3 of you would be needed to keep a refrigerator running



2,381,820How Many Germs Live On Your Keyboard?

I Scored a 80%!

Why Shaggy is Badass and Velma is hot

Shaggy:







Velma:





You'll Never Look At The Simpsons The Same Way Again:





And by the way... 100th Post!


To Celebrate, Please Enjoy The Most Heart-Pounding Video Ever:

Wesites That Exist/Don't Exist

ilovepuppies.com - Taken (Owned By Dog Solutions)
ihatepuppies.com - Taken (Owned By AZ13.com)
ieatpuppies.com - Taken (Owned By John - Reid Conlin)
ieatpuppies.biz - Not Taken
madd.org - Taken (Owned By Mothers Against Drunk Driving)
fadd.org - Not Taken
nerds.com - Taken (Owned By Jason Keramidas)
bullies.com - Taken (Owned By Stefan Ullrich)
binge.com - Taken (Owned By Host Master)
purge.com - Taken (Owned By Florian Fink)
bingepurge.com - Taken (Owned By Cathi Shaw)
bingepurgebinge.com - Not Taken
iamnice.com - Taken (Owned By Praveen Kumar)
iammean.com - Taken (Owned By Jen Depew)
iamschizophrenic.com - Not Taken
papasgotabrandnewbag.com - Taken (Owned By Beverly C Johnson)
papashappywithhisoldbag.com - Not Taken
elvisisalive.com - Taken (Owned By Domains Sale)
elvisisdead.com - Taken (Owned By ?)
elviswenttohell.com - Not Taken
devilwentdowntogeorgia.com - Taken (Owned By Whois Privacy Protection Service inc.)
devilavoidedgeorgia.com - Not Taken

Vacation Time! Hooray!

I'll be gone for the next week in Vegas. Here's a video to entertain my adoring masses while I'm gone:



Scary Story:




Sumo Wrestling Dubbed Over With Anime Effects:

Incestual Undertones in Star Wars

My newest video edit; Enjoy!

Be Sure To Vote In The Poll To The Right of This Message

It's Awesome!

The Newly Remodeled Chuck E Cheese's Tries To Attract A New Demographic






Just Watch...







Quite Possibly The Funniest Video Ever

I recently acquired the vocals only version of Kanye West's Gold Digger. Shortly after that I acquired the instrumental only version of the same song. I decided the best use of these two files was to make it sound like a chipmunk was singing the song. This sounds simple when I write it down but actually took me a fair bit of time to get the vocal and instrumental track lined up just right:


Kanye West - Gold Digger (Chipmunk Version)

P.S.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

WARNING: cute

Police Man Don't Take No Sass

Click Here To See News Story To Find Out What Happened To The Cop


To Cleanse The Pallet: Music:

Moment of Silence

Gary Gygax, the creator of Dungeons and Dragons, is dead.



Gary Gygax
1938 - 2008

Even More Outrageous Rumors (Political Edition) (Draft)

• After complaints the Wikipedia entry for Hillary Clinton was changed from "A large rodent native to North America" to "A large rodent native to North America who is running for president".
  

Dan Rather Crazy

Notes: I made this using a neat little program called Crazy Talk that lets you edit still photos to make it appear as if they are talking. The first part is a computer generated voice, the last part is me screeching.

I'm also testing a custom youtube video player that will allow you to access all the videos I've uploaded to youtube:



PS
I apparently just accidently banned myself from youtube... (long story I literally banned myself) I will be in the process of re-uploading all my videos for the next few days

My Kind of Music

8-Bit music or "Chiptunes" is a style of music made using only old consoles such as the Game Boy or the NES. Here are a few videos of performances by some of my favorite 8-bit artists:


"Spontaneous Devotion" by Random





Bit Shifter





Nullsleep





"Switchblade Squadron" by Covox

Photoshop: Blue Screen of Death

Click On Thumbnail

Click On Thumbnail

More Utterly Outrageous Rumors

1. Being Lactose Intolerant is an offense punishable by death in Wisconsin.
2. Guitar Hero 4 will be a World War II FPS where you have to guide 80's rock stars to victory against the Nazis. Screenshot
3. The sequel to the Transformers movie will be titled "Transformers 2: Forbidden Love". The plot will be a Romeo and Juliet-esque one with Optimus Prime's son, Razorblade, falling in love with Megatron's daughter, Lucy.

"Mars Bigfoot" Turns Out To Be Leaked Still From Planet of the Apes 2

New Photoshop

Some Things To Notice:

Flavor
Look closely at description of what product does
Symbol replacing ADA approval sticker

Note: The reason the font may loom a bit off is because the only high quality picture of a Listerine bottle was entirely in a foreign language. I had to redo the text of the entire bottle in the closest font I could find (Arial Black)

Video of the Week (VotW) 1

BONUS VIDEO!!!


Warning: Contains Bad Word

New Photoshops

The first one is too big to fit so I'll give you a link:
Photoshop 1




Photoshop 2:

Utterly Outrageous Rumors

1. The reason Wal-Mart is able to keep its prices so low is because they use their elderly greeters as collateral when dealing with foreign investors.
2. Elvis and Bigfoot are married under common-law.
3. Hitler is alive and currently working as a circus clown under the name "Baron von Happy".
4. Contrary to popular belief, Michael Jackson is not a black male popstar, but a bloodthirsty alien killer from the planet Omnicron Persiei VIII whose gender depends on its mood.
5. The Space Shuttle Challenger never actually exploded as it took place during the 1985-86 season of Dallas which was only a dream.

Set Phasers To Kill Presents: Leia's Surprisingly Good Memory

I made this video mainly to address a major continuity error between the old (good) Star Wars Trilogy, and the new (not so good) Star Wars Trilogy. Basically in Return of the Jedi, Leia implies that her mother, Amidala, lived long enough for Leia to get to know her. The problem is that in Revenge of the Sith, Amidala clearly dies immediately after giving birth to Luke and Leia. So that makes Leia either insane, a liar, an insane liar, or just a young woman with a remarkable memory. With that, I give you: "Leia's Surprisingly Good Memory" Enjoy!

Don't EVER Judge A Book By It's Cool Cover Art

I recently read a book that purported on it's cover to be a detective story. Half-way through the book I realized that not only was this not a detective story but a romance novel, it was also a badly written romance novel. Here is my summary of the plot:

Woman: I'm looking for a detective
Detective: I'm a detective!
Woman: Okay
Detective: (Drinks a beer)
Woman: I don't like you!
Detective: I don't like you either. I'm gonna abuse you, then we're gonna have sex. Ok?
Woman: Ok.
Detective: (Slaps Woman)
Woman: Make love to me!
Detective: Ok.
(They have sex)
Woman: Now I like you.
(Man walks in)
Woman: Ahhhhhhh! He's after my baby!
Man: HAHAHA!
Detective: (Shoots Man)
Man: Damn you and your concealed firearms permit!
Detective: What baby?
Woman: You know, the one we left with the complete strangers we found on that Indian Reservation?
Detective: Oh, that baby.
(They have sex again)
Detective: You have melted my icy cold heart through multiple instances of intercourse. I love you.
Woman: I love you too.

THE END


Next time I get a book, I'm reading the back. There goes ten hours of my life that I'll never get back again...