Flash Animations

Just A Couple Of Flash Animations I Did:

Stephen Hawking - Ridin' Dirty

Comic - Clicker

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving (For US)! Happy Getting Rid Of Us (Britain)!

On this day I like to imagine that Iran Isn't preparing to nuke us (or North Korea... Or Both). I like to pretend that the magnificent symbolism of Plymouth Rock Isn't ruined by the fact that it wasn't even recognized as important until the early 1900's when they found a large rock in a public dump about 4 miles from the coast and decided that it should become famous... Yeah... Thank God for imagination.

James Bond Is: The Product Placer

So, by now everybody's heard of the new James Bond Film "Casino Royale". Anyone who hasn't should be immediately shot, at the very least. I was originally opposed to the movie (Bond is NOT blond you Assholes!!!). But soon enough the sweet smell of popcorn lured me to the movie theater. I had no other choice....

All in all it was a very good movie. It had the booms, the girls, the drama. But the product placements in this movie were out of control! In the first 30 minutes Ford, Virgin Atlantic, Sony, Kia, and Land Rovers were advertised. These weren't hidden or sneaky in any way. These were in your face, can't miss it advertisements (Not as bad as the Fantastic 4 movie mind you, but still pretty bad.)

Boycott RIAA And MPAA

The MPAA Has Started A Program That Gives Out Merit Badges To Boy Scouts Who Participate In Their "Program" Which Consists Of:

" The 52,000 Scouts who are eligible may earn the patch by participating in a curriculum produced by the MPAA. To earn the badge, Scouts must participate in several activities including creating a video public-service announcement and visiting a video-sharing website to identify which materials are copyrighted. They may also watch a movie and discuss how people behind the scenes would be harmed if the film were pirated."

Even If You're For All Of This, You Can't Say That It's Not Scary That A Large Corporation Can, In Essence, Buy The Boy Scouts.

To Read More About This Click Here

To See A Photoshop I Created By Edition An Image Of The Actual Badge Click Here

This Got Me Through Jr. High

Everybody Loves Online Games.... Everybody... Here's Some Free Sites You Should Check Out:

• NationLocation.com: This Website Got Me Through Jr. High Alive. It's Simple Games Have A Charm Not Found Anywhere Else.
• AddictingGames.com: Another One That Got Me Through Jr. High. This One Was Owned By A College Student When I Was In Jr. High And Has Been Since Sold For A Very Large Sum Of Money.
  
• MiniClip.com: This Site Has Some Very Addicting Games In Many Different Catagories. The Quality Of The Games Is Beyond Compare.
• PopCap.com: This Is A Site With Many Famous Games On It Including "Zuma" And "Bookworm".
• FlashPlayer.com: This Is A Fun One. Lots Of Games Submited By Other (Often Smaller) Game Sites.
• NewGrounds.com: This One Is Amazing. You Could Spend Years On This Site And Not Finish Playing All The Games. This One Is A Must.
  

Zombie Student Says: "Graaaaaaaaaaaades!"

Pupil Log: Earth Date 1052006 (and 37 minutes)

So tired... So, very tired... This Has To Be The Closest I've Pulled To An All-Nighter (Of Doing Homework Of Course, I've Had No Sleep Many A Night Because Of Gaming, But This Is Different) I'm Struggling To Stay Awake. I Have German, Math, And Some English Left. I Will Undoubtedly Not Get All Of It Done. Wish Me Luck... Time To Get Back To Work. *sigh*

Poems

Battle Scars (By Brogan Zumwalt)

I proudly bear the battle scars,
and I am not ashamed.
They are marks of endurance, and perseverance,
not old age.
I proudly bear the wrinkles,
these liver spots I've earned,
they allude to the life that I have led,
and all that I have learned.
My senses may be failing,
but I will still take in,
the sights, the sounds, the textures,
of this world I live in.
Oh, the sun it may be setting,
but do not grieve my friend,
it is such a beautiful evening,
and my life has been well lived.

Saint Clare Would Be Amazed

If You Ever Want To See Who God Loves Most Watch "The Worlds Most Amazing Videos" On Spike TV. People Who By All Means Should Be Dead (i.e. Dude Gets Blown Up Then Run Over... Twice. And He Lives! Don't Belive Us? We've Got It On Tape.) Live To Tell Their Story. It Has To Be One of My Top 5 Favorite Shows.

Here's A Link To What Time You Can See It



Note About The Title:

I'm Not Catholic But I Find The Story of Saint Clare of Assisi (Patron Saint of Television) Very Interesting. Here's A Link To Where You Can Read About It

This Is Why I Hate Mac's

No One Seems To Understand Why I Have Such Trouble With Mac's. Here's An Example Detailing Why (Actual Conversation):

Me: What Did I Do? Why Is Nothing Moving?

Mac User: Did You Insert A Flash Drive?

Me: Well, Yeah...

Mac User: Oh, That Explains It! You Aren't Supposed To Do That.

Me: What Do You Mean? I Can't Use A Flash Drive On A Mac?

Mac User: Yeah You Can But You Need To Insert It When The Fourth Logo Pops Up On The Loading Screen...

Me: All That Just To Save A Document?

Mac User: Oh! You Can't Save To A Flash Drive On Mac OS 4!

Me: Then Why Does It Have A USB Slot?

Mac User: Oh... I Don't Know...

Me: Okay, How Do I Restart It?

Mac User: You Can't.

Me: What?

Mac User: You Can't. When It Freezes The Off Button Doesn't Work.

Me: Well, How Am I Supposed To Turn It Off?

Mac User: You Have To Unplug It.

Me: Won't That Cause It To Lose Data?

Mac User: Probably...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, Here's A Video Detailing How I Feel About Macintosh:

Fake Mac Ad

Google SketchUp

I've Just Found Out About Google SketchUp, A Free 3-D Modeling Program With The Capability To Export The Drawings Into Google Earth, A Free 3-D World Map. Here Are Some Drawings I Have Made:





Google SketchUp Is Available Here

Self-Promotion

I've Been Creating Games And Animations Lately:


Click Here To Download A Partially Finished Sonic Game I'm Making

Here's A Preview For An Upcoming Series I'm Going To Make:







Enjoy!

Finally, A Huge Step Towards What We All Would Like To See... Monks With Rocket Launchers!

It seems that during a recent protest to end violence in Sri Lanka ended suddenly when Buddhist monks pulled out all the stops and began to brawl with other protestors. Fortunately it ended quickly due to pro-peace monks settling the crowd down.

"They were saying we should go to war," said pro-peace monk Madampawe Assagee. "We like to listen to other opinions so we let them do that but then they started fighting and we couldn't control some of our people. They tried to make it a big fight but we settled it in a few minutes."

What Madampawe didn't mention was the help from "Ol' Betsy", the sawed-of shotgun he keeps in his robe for situations like these.

Short Story: "Bossy"

Here's A Short Story I Wrote:

“Never again,” I told her, “I will never take advice from you ever again!”

My hamster just stared at me, as if it didn’t know what I was talking about. “Grounded for one month! This is all your fault JellyBean!” I yelled angrily at my hamster, who was spared the brunt of my aggression by her wireframe safe house. I continued to glare at JellyBean as she flipped on her back and made chirping noises as she wriggled her dime-sized paws in the air. “No! That may work on my Mom but I’m immune to your charms you demon-seed rodent!” I snapped. Sensing her ill-gotten charm wasn’t working, JellyBean maneuvered herself so that her furry butt was firmly planted on her exercise wheel. It gave her the appearance of a person sitting on their favorite chair. “What do you want?” I said with venom in my tone. JellyBean cocked her head and smirked slyly; as saying that I knew exactly what she wanted. “You want me to tell you what went wrong?” I asked incredulously. JellyBean just stared at me for the longest time… she didn’t blink once. Then JellyBean's head started to turn ever so slowly towards my lamp that was perched precariously close to the edge of the table it shared with JellyBean. She had pushed it over once; she wouldn’t hesitate to push it over again. “No…” I said my voice audibly shaking, “Y… you wouldn’t!” JellyBean got up from her wheel and, all the while looking directly at me, started slowly shuffling towards the lamp. “Please… Please!” I begged, “You know I’m afraid of the dark!” It was too late to try to move the lamp, she was too close. Then she stopped. The air was so still it could have been dead. She was giving me another chance! “Wait!” I cried out, “I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you everything!” JellyBean swiveled so that she was facing me, and waited for me to begin. I cleared my throat and started…

The test was about to begin. I remembered the advice you gave me not to ask to use the restroom all day. The teacher passed out all of the tests but before he could tell us to start I raised my hand and asked if I could use the restroom quickly. That’s when the trouble began. You told me he’d be annoyed, you didn’t tell me he’d give me a time limit! He gave me 30 seconds. 30 seconds! I went into this thinking I’d have at least one minute before anybody started getting suspicious! To make matters worse, I hadn’t used the restroom all day so now I really did have to go! But with 30 seconds I only had time to pull the fire alarm and make it look like I was coming out of the restroom! So I got out of the classroom went to the fire alarm and pulled it. Before I could take two steps a tremendous pain shot up my arm. It turns out that when you pull the alarm you break a glass tube containing permanent ink. The glass cut my hand and ink got into the cut; the nurse said it was kind of like a tattoo. The nurse also said that, like a tattoo, it was probably permanent. So I have a tattoo of a blob on my hand, I’ve been suspended, my parents grounded me, and it’s all your fault!

I started to cry. JellyBean looked almost sympathetic for a moment. Then she turned and pushed the lamp off the desk. Leaving me in total, utter darkness.





This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

Text To Speech Rocks!

Most People Have Heard Of Text To Speech Technology. Here's Your Chance To Try It:

AT &T Labs Is Working On A Project Called "AT&T Natural Voices Text-to-Speech". They Have Put A Demo Of Their Work On The Web.

You Can Click HERE To Go To The Site


OR

Click HERE For A Sample

EDIT (November 28, 2006): The Above Link No Longer Works... Sucks To Be You...

The Digital Life

A recent New York Times article touted the title "A Flash Drive That Holds Your Computer". The article says it works by not only storing files like MSWord Documents but also the system files that allow them to run. Exciting, no? Indeed exciting but also quite troubling. When I went to Jr. High floppy discs and CD's were almost banned because of the threat of uploading a virus to the schools computer. Of course the teachers were mistaken, we had Crapintosh's (once, for fun I checked how many instances of the "I Love You" virus were on a single Mac and lost count at 20. At this point you may be thinking to yourself, "Wow! What kind of firewall did you have?" The answer is, we didn't... At first this seems like a good thing... Then you get to thinking... If one of the world's most destructive viruses DOES NOT WORK on a Macintosh... Something's wrong with the Macintosh... But I digress...) The point I'm trying to make is: If computers can still get infected... Even though they have firewalls and anti-virus tools... Is it really a good idea to make something that can transfer a infected hard drive to a different computer?

The "flash drive" the New York Times was talking about was the "Ceedo Personal" running the "Lexar PowerToGo" software. The flash drive costs $53 to $90 for the 1GB and 2GB models respectively (an impressive 4GB model is set to be released in August). That kind of storage capacity is very frightening to this author. Think about the amount of viruses a disgruntled employee (statistically the most likely to sabotage a businesses computer) could store on a flash drive like that. Worse this could allow someone to unintentionally infect somebody's computer! The article also had worse news:

• "Lexar claims it's "Lightning" [flash drives]... Are two to six times as fast as regular flash drives..."
• "[Lexar's rival] U3 argues that [their flash drive]... offers more security... such as a password for the flash drive..." (U3 makes a special flash drive that allows you to install programs on the flash drive.
• "... [Ceedo's software] requires neither special programs nor special flash drives... It even runs on iPods and other portable drives..."
• "... Ceedo-equipped flash drives trick software installers into [installing]... onto a duplicate of your windows folder..."
• "... there's even a portable, duplicate registry on board..."
• "When you plug your drive into any PC - at, say, a Kinko's, a Airport Waiting Lounge, or at a friends house..."

Scary stuff...

Revenge!

I saw this recently on a chatboard (It's what you call a signature or "siggy". It comes after your message and is usually funny.):

"Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift" ... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git."
Alexai Sayle.


I like our president, but I have to admit... that is pretty funny... I made a funnier one though:

"The British have different ways of saying things. They say "chips", we say "fries" ... they say "teeth", we say "monstrosities"...

Strife_Master

Work Sucks

Recently I've heard the following phrase over and over: "Doesn't Work Give You Such A Satisfying Feeling?" To which I usually respond, "No, but you give me a 'Stepford Wife' feeling." With that aside I will now talk about my opinions on work.

1. Work is not satisfying.


After doing several hours of yard work I would never say, "Wow! How Fulfilling! I Wish I Could Do That Again!" However, I would say, "Damn... What A Waste of Time..."


2. Work does not "Feel Good".


I can honestly say that it has the opposite effect on me. It "Feels Like My Muscles Are Rapidly Atrophying".


3. Work does not give you a sense of accomplishment.


Rather it gives you a depressing feeling. (i.e. "It Looked Better Before...")

I hope this helps you in your decision on what to do this summer... Me, I'm going to Vegas.

EDIT (November 28, 2006): I Really Did Go To Las Vegas That Summer... It Rocked...

Must Kill Bono!

Keane singer Tom Chaplin recently told England's "Q magazine" that one night while the trio was opening up for U-2 last year, he spotted some kitchen knives backstage, and a disturbing thought popped into his head. "The thought just came to me, 'I'll kill Bono.' Like when a train's approaching and you get the urge to jump." No word on whether Chaplin aspires to inherit the suposedly cursed "Bono Ruby".




Source: http://1077theend.com/musicnews.asp

Breaking News!Venture Bros Not Dead!

According To This Picture (Found At "Jackson Publick's" Blog):

Dean and Hank Venture haven't been killed off! It turns out that just needed a break from the glare of publicity and faked their own deaths... Very... Very realistically! Luckily they have just been hanging out in the attic at their home (1297 Venture Compound West). Thaddeus Venture's bodyguard, Brock Samson, is credited with finding the boys. When asked whether he was surprised when he found the two teenagers Brock said, "No, not really. The giggling coming from the attic was just starting to creep me out." We will give more details as soon as more is known about this development.

Google Is On Crack!

NOTE: Unfortunately, This Appears To No Longer Work. I'm Keeping This Post Here Because I Can.

Okay... I Just Discovered Something Odd... Search Google For "non-sequitur" Without The Quotes. It Will Say: "Did You Mean: non-sequitur non sequitur". Click On This And It Will Say: "Did You Mean: non-sequitur non sequitur non sequitur"! Keep Clicking: It Goes On Forever!

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