They've Done It: So Bad It's Almost Good: Halo CE Maps: Burnside

Map Name: Burnside
Screenshots:

Screenshot Descriptions (Clockwise From Top Left):

Picture 1: It's like you're looking through the eyes of an insane man! I mean, come on, who else but the "mentally screwed up" would think to put those textures there?!? What the heck is that vaguely box-like thing floating in mid-air? You can't reach it, I've tried. Oh, did I mention that you can walk up walls and that the jet you can fly in has been replaced by a toaster? How about the fact that the tank and jeep have polka-dots?

Picture 2: You can't see it very clearly, but that is a badly textured "pod racer" from Star Wars. This is a Halo game. Although both Star Wars and Halo are in the same genre (Sci-fi) they do not mix at all... This is a travesty.

Picture 3: Yes, it's a giant skateboard... And it has some sort of invisible turret since it can fire bolts of plasma. Like all vehicles on this map, once you hop into the drivers seat, you are apparently injected with an entire keg of hard liqueur since you can't drive for sh** in these vehicles. In fact, if you dare to take a left or right turn at all, you are immediately thrown forcefully out of the vehicle and back flip dozens of times before you land on the ground and instantly die.

Picture 4: I had to kill myself (in the game) to get this one. For some reason the creator of the map thought it would be funny to dress poor Master Chief up in a prisoner outfit.

If you really feel that for some reason you need to have this map, here is the download link

NOTE: You need to have Halo CE installed for this to work

Installation Instructions Can Be Found Here

They've Done It: So Bad It's Almost Good: Halo CE Maps: Introduction

If you can't make head or tail of the title, here is a brief glossary:

Halo: A wildly popular first person shooter video game series (the one we'll be talking about is the first Halo game, specifically the PC version)

Halo CE: Stands for Halo Custom Edition, a free add-on to Halo for PC that allows you to play multi-player maps made by people using the Halo Development Kit.

Halo Development Kit: A tool for making custom Halo CE maps

Now that we've got that over with let me tell you the premise of this post.

There are hundreds if not thousands of Halo CE maps. Some are brilliantly made, others... well, they just can't cut it. But there are a select few Halo CE maps that are so bad that they are very nearly good. The next few posts will be about them. Enjoy!


NOTE: Remember, my opinion of which maps are good or bad may not be the same as yours. In fact, it could be drastically different. But it's my opinion so shove off... But if you agree, feel free to post a comment praising my brilliance.

New Blog

I've decided to create another blog. This in no way will affect this blog, but will serve to enhance it. The new blog will consist of my commentary on this blog (i.e. Where I got the idea for the post, my personal feelings on the finished post, etc.). Here is the address: http://www.strifecommentary.blogspot.com

Last Words

I was feeling a bit morbid today so I wrote this list of words I might want to say on my deathbed:

• Well... This totally screws up my plans for Saturday...
• It turns out that the light at the end of the tunnel is just a "Laser Floyd" show.
• Before I die, I'd like to let you know that, although I love you all very much, I'm going to make you fight to the death in a televised cage match in order to win my inheritance. It will be hosted by an Elvis impersonator handpicked by myself and my invisible pet monkey "Jubjub".
• Dance! Dance for my amusement!
• I want my remains donated to "Fear Factor".
• When I die... Leave my heart in San Fransisco.
• I want my remains frozen until they find a way to bring back the dead!
• Either you find a way to end world hunger within the hour, or I will set off a 1 megaton bomb I have hidden somewhere under the grounds of Shel Silverstein's birthplace...
• What? Wait, are you crying?!? Oh don't be such a baby! Look everybody! Will's crying! Let's all laugh at the little baby!
• Wait... I... I see a light! There's people here... (Gasp) Someone's walking towards me... It's ... It's Aunt Cassie! Wait... She... She has something... IT'S A GUN! SHE HAS A GUN!!!
• The only way you can make me proud now son is to learn to speak Russian fluently before I die... You have twenty minutes starting........... NOW!

The Presidents Song

I just found this old gem from the days when I used to watch the Animaniacs. It was a great little show and I plan on buying the DVD's of it soon. Meanwhile here is a song from the show:







Here are the lyrics if you are interested...

Crazy Infomercials

Here Are Some Of My Favorites:

"Dr. Ho's Muscle Massage System"

"Rejuvenique"

"Tony Little's Gazelle Freestyle"

"Myotron Pulse Wave"

"Santo Gold" (Possibly The Most Confusing Infomercial Ever)

Innapropriate Games (Part 1): The Farting Game

Farting Game

Use the spacebar to try and squeeze out as many farts as you can without the guy beside you noticing. You can use the left arrow key to pass ’silent’ farts at any time. If you don’t release enough gas and the large meter fills to the top, you’ll explode and the game will be over. If the other guy hears you, the game ends as well.

Note: Try To Beat My High Score Of 5690

Fun Animation Thingie...

I Made This With A Generator On http://roxik.com/pictaps/

It's A Very Simple Time Waster... Just Color The Guy In And It Animates Him For You.

They've Done It: Worlds Most Frightning Warning Sign

They've done it! The International Atomic Energy Agency in partnership with the UN has created what must surely be the most frightening warning sign ever. It's the new "International Radiation Symbol" and it's scary as hell.

Here's the old version:



... And here's the new one:


Not only does the new version have a skull and crossbones (that almost appears to be chasing you), but even though you are running away the beams of radiation are still hitting you!

"You can run from radiation, but you can't hide!"

(Note this is the first of many "They've Done It" posts. This series of posts will put into motion a series of events that will, eventually, doom all of humanity explore how the "establishment" (a.k.a. "the man") is making this world a much more frightening place.)

(Another note: By the establishment I mean any form of authority and not just a government)

Fun With Nixon

Here Are A Few Little Animations I Made That Makes History Fun!

Messin' With Nixon

(Note: Place Your Mouse Over Certain Hot Spots (i.e. His Eyes) To See Funny Stuff)


Nixon Morph (Flash Version)

Nixon Morph (GIF Version)

Strange Shows (Part 1)

You Can Find Some Pretty Strange Stuff On Late Night TV. Tonight I Found This Gem:

"Emergency Vets: Things Animals Swallow"

Remember, That Was The Actual Title... I'm Not Making This Up.

Michael Jacksons "Thriller"... Benny Hill Style

Michael Jacksons "Thriller" Set To The Benny Hill Music:








And War Of The Worlds....

Gifts Not To Buy This Christmas

Tickle Me Emo:







Nintendo Wii Games (Note: One Part May Be Inappropriate):








Descrimi-Nav (The Racist Navigation System):

Note Couldn't Find It On YouTube So Here's A Direct Link




"Dissing Your Dog":

Video Trailer Edits (Part 3)

There Are Only Four Trailers This Time But These Are Some Of The Best Ones:




Ten Things I Hate About Commandments (Parody of "The 10 Commandments")

Note: One Bit Of Innapropriate Languange At The End







Mel Gibson's Signs Of Anti-Semitism (Parody Of Signs):








West Side Story Trailer Redux (Parody Of Several Zombie Movies And The "West Side Story")







Martin Scorsese Sesame Streets (Parody Of "Sesame Street" And "Goodfellas" {I Think}):


Note: Foul Language Throughout... But This One's Just Too Good To Pass Up

Leeeeeeroooooy Jenkins!!!!

I Don't Play WoW But I Do Get The Humor In This Commercial Parodying The Now Famous "Leeroy Jenkins Incident". If You Haven't Seen The Original "Leeroy Jenkins" Video, You Can Watch It Here


Leeroy Jenkins Parody:








Here Are Some More "Leeroy Jenkins Live" Videos:



Office


Birthday Party



Oh Well... At Least He Has Chicken...

Video Trailer Edits (Part Two)!

This Is The Second Part Of The Video Trailer Edits Post... This Deals With Recutting Films Into Trailers To Make Them look Like A Different Genre:




The Lion King Recut To Be A Horror Movie:








Groundhog Day Made Into A Slasher Flick:








Bruce Almighty Made To Look Like An "End Of The World" Thriller:



You are going to have to click on the video twice to view on the actual Youtube page because embedding has been disabled.







The Shining Made To Look Like A Nice Family Film:








Willy Wonka Made Into A Horror Film:








That's All I Can Find For Now... But I'm Sure There Is Plenty More... Who Knows... Maybe I'll Make Part 3!

Video Trailer Edits!

Here Are Some Videos That Have Been Re-Cut To Look Like A Trailer For That Movie... In A Different Genre:



Here's One Of Mary Poppins Being A Horror Movie:







Here Is One Of The Movie Forest Gump With Forest As A Psychopathic Stalker:







Another Tom Hanks Movie ("Sleepless In Seattle") Recut As A Horror Movie:







This One Is My Personal Favorite, "Office Space" Recut As A Horror Movie:








E.T. Recut Into An Alien Invasion:








The "School Of Rock" Recut Into A Horror Movie:









I'll Be Posting Part 2 Sooner Than You Think... Stay Tuned...

New Halo 3 Trailer!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!!

As the title implies there is a new Halo 3 trailer. There are several details I'd like to mention. Let me start with a screenshot:

Watch The Video Before Anything Else... Don't Worry... I'll Wait...

Here's A Link To The Windows Media Version
And Here's A Link To The Flash Version

Freakin' Awesome Right? Here's Some Tiny Details You Might Not Have Noticed:

1. Approximately 28.557 seconds into the trailer you can hear a barely audible childs voice say

"Time To Go..." right before you hear the incoming radio transmission.

Link To Sound Clip: http://www.snapdrive.net/files/63052/timetogo.wav


2. Right after the child's voice finishes (29.187 Seconds) you hear Cortana's voice saying "chief... leave...". This deepens the mystery of the AI who when we last saw her in Halo 2, was in the clutches of "Gravemind". The way she says it almost sounds like a cry for help...

Link To Sound Clip: http://www.snapdrive.net/files/63052/chiefleave.wav


3. (40-45 Seconds Into The Video) Woo-Hoo! New Gadget (Here's To Hoping It Will Be In The Game)! For Lack Of A Better (And More Official Sounding) Name I Dub It... The "Porta-Shield"... Here Is A Screenshot:



4. (52 Seconds Into The Video) The amount of enemies Master Chief is facing.... Is Amazing:

By My Count:

12 Brutes
1 Hunter
And 6 Wraiths

Damn! Here Are Some Screenshots:

5. (0 Seconds Into Possibly The Best Video Ever Made) Sorry to backtrack but I just realized the that this needs to be said. I don't have my Halo novels with me right now but the children talking at the beginning of the video are probably John (aka "Master Chief") and a female Spartan. Before you say "Wait a minute! Don't they know about the Covenant?" you'll remember if you've read the novels that the Spartan 2 program was started because of the rebel uprising... Not the covenant. So that's John as a kid. Just thought that was important.... As it's the first time we get to look behind the mask.

Flash Animations

Just A Couple Of Flash Animations I Did:

Stephen Hawking - Ridin' Dirty

Comic - Clicker

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving (For US)! Happy Getting Rid Of Us (Britain)!

On this day I like to imagine that Iran Isn't preparing to nuke us (or North Korea... Or Both). I like to pretend that the magnificent symbolism of Plymouth Rock Isn't ruined by the fact that it wasn't even recognized as important until the early 1900's when they found a large rock in a public dump about 4 miles from the coast and decided that it should become famous... Yeah... Thank God for imagination.